Poetry

Dianna and Brian invited me to visit them one weekend. We bared our souls the entire night, and when it was time to go to bed, I saw a guest book in the guest room that had poems written by guests. So I wrote an entry and my first poem. 

1973

When you read this

You are going to love or hate me,

Either way I'll be in your thoughts

Deep and lasting.

I have shared with you my deepest thoughts. 

The stranger in me came out

Because he longs to be loved

And he longs to be remembered.

People treat me like a house

They politely come and go

While a child from an upstairs eye looks out

And feels meadows.

I say treat me like a meadow.

Find my deepest roots and taste my ripest fruit.

Lose yourself in my lush green grass

And follow my meandering streams.

Explore my deepest darkest dreams

I will always find you.

Feast on my experience bitter and sweet.

Hear my silence and search out my soul.

Let the warmth of my sunbeams

And the freshness of my cool breeze soothe you.

Understand my wild life and become a part of it.

Treat me like a meadow.

Weed me of my rot and cultivate my life

And watch it grow.

Water me with your tears,

Dry me with your sensuality.

Burn me to the ground with hate

And I will grow faster and stronger.

Pick my flowers and keep them

To remember me by.

Linger, and to help me grow

Litter me with the seeds of your

Joys and sorrows and love.

Some people saw the child upstairs

And heard him talking meadows.

They dug my roots but cut them short,

They're wondering where the fruit is.

They cut the grass and found the stones

And threw them in a corner

They damned my brooks and bridged my streams.

They can not find those hidden dreams

Scattered in the corner.

They feast on my simplicities

And choke on all my flavor.

They hear my noise and deny my soul

They have no time to savor.

They feel the sun and feel the breeze

And complain about the showers.

They find my wild life much too wild,

They're afraid of all that power.

They weed my life so thoroughly

And all in the name of loving

They cultivate my rot so well

I've now become a garden.

They watered me with their tears too long,

Their warmth will never dry me.

They scorched me with their teasing sex

Soon they're going to burn me.

They plucked my flowers, many a time

But never to remember

Caged me in with fences high

Saying "Fences make good neighbors".

They litter me with pity seeds

And poison me with loving

They see the child and hear the sounds

But to children they don't listen.

The child is weeping softly now

He's crying for understanding.

Treat me like a house again

Leave opened doors behind you

And when you're in a meadow mood

I'll leave that house behind too.

I saw Brian and Diane as a happy couple. I went from one girl to the next looking for love and being frustrated at not finding any. 

The more I love others,

The less I love myself.

When love is denied

It is lost in a world of apathy,

Spinning around and round

Like a cosmic boomerang.

Returning when I least expect

To pin me to the ground.

The more I love others,

The less I understand love.

They say it fulfills and brings happiness.

But it just makes me sad and lonely.

But just as quickly as I threw love away

I am carving myself another cosmic boomerang.

And planning another hunt.

The more I love others,

The more I want never to love again.

But the love I lost yesterday

Has just returned from its cosmic course,

And hit me hard with cold words

Like raindrops,

Uncomfortable but refreshing.

-------

I love you four seasons,

I need you for reasons,

That last thru the year.

In winter you're a lover,

A child playing with fire.

Wanting excitement and

Hot with desire.

In spring you're a young girl,

A flowering bud.

Overflowing with life,

Filled with God's love.

In summer you're a lady,

A refreshing cool shower.

Proud and invitingA blossoming flower.

In fall you're a woman,

A colorful fountain.

Pure and majestic

A towering mountain.

Please melt me in winter

With your soothing warm flame.

Refresh me like spring does

In that very same way.

Act like a lady,

Give me that summertime feeling

Delight me with your colors

Give fall a new meaning.

1977

From infant to manhood

Years have passed by

I feel I'm just starting to grow.

To grow within my mind

To search out and find

The meaning of my life.

From sickness to health

From poverty to wealth

I feel I'm still quite poor.

Begging for love and hungry for truth

Cold in my heart and losing my youth.

I have family that care

Lovers and friends that I share

And I still feel all alone.

Alone in my thoughts, alone at play.

Alone in my past, I'm alone today.

From not caring to questioning

My eyes are slowly opening

I'm beginning to see the light.

To give love and to take love

You must live love and make love

Love is all you need.

I touched and was touched

And now I feel,

I strive to be aware.

To love all life

And to live a life with love.

To know myself

And to understand God.

I have seen and heard

Now I observe and listen

I'm still trying to understand.

Life and death, love and hate

Joy and sorrow, mankind's fate.

I was once a boy, 

I'm now a man, 

I long to be child.

A child of earth, a child of love

A child of man, a child of God.

---------

When I first looked into your eyes

I caught my reflection in you

And felt a rush of love.

Sweet fantasy.

And I became afraid of losing

What was never mine to lose.

And love turned sour.

You're much too much like me

Afraid of losing yourself

Afraid of wasting precious time

Afraid of love going sour.

Let’s all fly free

And shed our fears of losing all we have.

Unless we chose our load to lose

We will never be set free.

Cut the bonds of time

Let love ferment and give ourselves away.

Unless we care, unless we share

We will never be aware.

Let’s all dream on

And follow wherever our imagination leads us.

Unless we do, when a dream comes true

We might never know it.

Let’s all search on

With hopes held high to fight the way to love.

Unless we seek, our reflections get weak

And we might fail to see them.

--------

I'm hooked on sunbeams,

And lots of sweet dreams,

I'll take the sunshine with the rain

I'm hooked on danger and lady nature,

I'll take the good times with the pain.

Sing me a song please,

Refresh me with your breeze,

I'm hooked on wind with all its sound.

I'm soaring higher, I'm a midnight flier

With my feet stuck to the ground.

Wash me with showers,

Spice me with flowers

Free me of my blues.

Soothe me with sunshine, 

Bless me with aged wine,

Color me with all your hues.

Writing poetry was very therapeutic. I had a guitar, and I composed a song one evening.

I'm a lonely traveler

Locked up within my mind.

Doing a lot of wondering

But your soul I can not find.

Doing my time in solitude

And letting it all slip by.

Searching out thru tear stained eyes

You are nowhere to be found.

I throw a lot of words around

Hoping you will find them.

But they're only cold and bitter songs

among a million other ones

like pebbles on a beach.

I need a jewel to catch your eyes.

This promise is my stone.

I have the key to set me free

I promise you the lock.

I have the door to let you in

you just have to knock.

I promise you my smiles and tears

I promise you my strengths and fears

I promise you my love.

And should you keep my jewel you find

I promise you my life my mind

I promise you my soul.

But should you threw the jewel away

1000 broken jewels will lay

All scattered on the ground.

Not broken promises

They're not lies or schemes

They're merely shattered hopes and dreams

All waiting to be found.

I wrote poetry to my girlfriends almost pleading them to love me. But unfortunately the walls between us were insurmountable. 

Live with me and be my love

Let’s make this world our home.

Talk to me and hear me well

Let’s share our life as one.

Dance with me and laugh and shout

And wash me with your tears.

Kiss me deep you taste so good

Stay with me all my years.

Teach me all and hear from me

Let’s sing of what we found

Make love with me, create life with me

Let’s spread our joy around.

Spread out wide, flow into me

And I'll flow into you.

Let me in and hold me tight

And let our souls unite.

----------------------

Come play with me the game of life

Let’s make this world a paradise

The world will be our field.

Know the rules and the penalties

Nature is our referee

To her judgment we must yield.

She watches us so carefully

For breaking rules we get misery

For not playing we get death.

Let’s make happiness our highest goal

A smile for every point we score

Let’s make love our strategy.

So play it well and enjoy the game,

You can play just as well if your strong or lame

As player coach or fan.

-------------------

I see the walls, I climb them up

And tear my fences down

And I see a million fences high

Emptiness and a blinding sky

And I blindly climb back down.

1978

I went cross country skiing often A trip that I will never forget was on a glacier. It was a moonless night and the stars were so bright that I ended up staring at them for a long time. Then I saw my face in a mirror and for a while I did not recognize myself.

I looked at the stars

And gazed higher and higher.

I fell in love with God.

I looked in the mirror

And gazed deeper and deeper.

God fell in love with me.

Ellie thought that I was living too wild and meaningless. She would continually try to tame me with sisterly advice.

From high above she sadly smiles

And wishes me to be inside.

It's never cold here, never rains

And yet its never dry she claims.

It always shines; we grow so tall

We are all secure so we don't fall.

Free from natures dangerous hand

Our road of life is so well planned.

To look at you for us is hard

You're wild and soiled and weather scared

What of flood and what of draught

What's your meaningless life about?

I'm happy here is my reply,

The weather has been great so far.

I like the rainstorms now and then

Gives me rainbows, makes me clean.

I like the cold, I like the wind.

I like to cry, and I like to sing.

You might look on me a stranger

I'm in love with lady nature.

The road I choose is rough and winding,

It's the only way I keep on finding.

I gladly risk the flood and drought.

Living is what my life is about.

Your life depends on society

Mine depends on God and me.

Some of my romances were short, but very intense.

If fences make good neighbors

Your neighbor is all I'll be.

You can make your fence with sticks and stones

Sharp barbed wire, or live alone.

Find a refuge in a dream

The highest mountain, a deep wide stream.

Time will wear it down.

If you make your fence because of fear.

Using harsh cold words, closed heart, deaf ear.

And past emotions that refuse to fade

Of empty love and bitter hate

Love will wear it down.

But if you want a fence so strong, so fine

That will pass the test of love and time

Use apathy to build it.

When you build your fence with apathy

For fear of losing your identity

That's not even yours to lose.

The prison you build will be your home

And you'll be nobody’s slave

Except your own.

And only you can tear that down.

Nature and romances were my main pass-times.

I got those floating mountain highs love

Misty rivers shroud my mind.

I see porcupines on branches

And I feel just like a child.

I found what I've been searching

For such a long long time.

I feel myself soar higher

But I've yet to start the climb.

The mountain that's before me

Excites me with some fears.

Her misty falling river

Refreshes me like tears.

You're the mountain that I'm stuck on.

You're the waterfalls I feel.

I'm shouting that I love you

But there's no echo to hear.

I'm not so good at climbing

So I'll rest a little while.

My shouts are getting weaker

I'll change my route, perhaps my style.

And if I still can't climb you

If I can not reach the summit

Maybe time will help me,

Perhaps an avalanche will plummet.

For if you give a little,I will give a lot.

And if you hold me close love, 

You will find me right on top.

And should I stop my climbing 

I'll see you when I can.

And paint you in my memory

As a tall majestic mountain.

------------------------

I'm in love with lady nature

The mountains are her breasts.

Her rolling hill they get me high

her flowing valley spreads out wide

And beckons me. I come.

There's a forest in that valley

With a canyon and a stream.

Her canyon is so moist, so lush

Her oozing stream in a climatic rush

Showers me with love.

---------------------

Somewhere in some cellar

There's a freshly bottled wine

pondering over sweet times,

The freedom of the grapevines

And the warmth of the summer sun.

The very same wine bottle

In that cellar dark

Is littered by the times past by

Of being plucked and squeezed so dry

And being bottled up.

All that bitter sweetness

It's mixed up so thoroughly.

The virgin wine is not appealing

It leaves you with a mixed up feeling

But all it needs is time.

With time the wine will settle,

The bitterness will sink.

The sweet aged wine will mellow

And all its colors brightly glow

And make a wino high.

Somewhere there's a wino

Searching for some wine

He's dreaming of a mellow find

To quench his thirsty mellow mind

He's searching for a high.

The cellar doors swings open

And the bottle meets his eye.

The thirsty wino comes in haste

Grabs the bottle for a taste

But he can't get at the wine.

He lifts the bottle to the light

To see its colors shine.

He can smell the fermentation

He spots his own reflection

There's a glow to that misty wine.

The cloudy mixture clusters

The glow begins to fade.

And in the hope of what he found

He spins the bottle round and round

But the mist won't settle down.

As the cloudy mixture darkens

His reflection comes out clear.

And gazing deep he finds himself

He puts the wine back on the shelf

And leaves it for some time.

With time all wines will settle,

The bitterness will sink.

The sweet aged wine will mellow

And all it's colors brightly glow.

To make a wino high.

-------------------------

When I have a love affair,

I blindly gallop ahead

Like a rider on a wild horse.

Lacking all control.

Lost in the climatic joys of the fleeting moment

I forget the consequence of faltering,

Of being left behind.

When I have a love affair,

I also need to stop and reflect,

And savor the precious moment.

So that an after taste remains

And lingers long after

The moment disappears.

You have given me great moments

And I'll never let them go.

Galloping wild on a racing horse.

Blindly following an unknown course.

And being a bit crazy.

Floating down some lazy stream.

Passionately loving in a dream

And walking hand in hand.

The pleasure of a moonlit walk.

The freedom of a swaying talk.

Your beautiful mellow mind.

Your swaying body and loving smile,

They sway my soul and make me high and

Make me want to dance some more.

I continued to write poetry during my traveling in South America. The colors, smell, sounds, and experiences suddenly intensified the further south I went. It was like living in a dream. One evening I heard marmots that were harmonizing and keeping a beat. I saw ants in the jungle that cleared a path thru the dense overgrowth, cutting thru tree trunks. They made a pyramid that was as high as I was. The man made pyramids were as well inspiring.

As the blushing moon puts the sun to rest,

That's the time I love the best.

The stars begin their carousel

The cricket chirpings fill the air

And cultivates my soul.

The birds retire with their songs so sweet

And everyone got that evening beat.

All the frogs form a blaring band

The cool soft breeze like an applauding fan

Sways the trees and leaves.

Evening sings farewell to day

And people find their place to lay.

My soul awake, my body rests.

That's the time I love the best.

Bellies full and tables bare,

Bottles filled with candle glare.

The cats and dogs contented too

And one by one the clean-up crew

Come in for one last round.

The dogs are first, they clean so fast,

Then the chickens follow last

And stay until the floor is clean,

The moon inspects it with its beam

And all are satisfied.

The smokes roll by, the talk runs high

Moon says hello, sun says goodbye.

As the world prepares for that nighttime quest.

That's the time I love the best.

1979

I was fascinated by the Mayan pyramids.

Built by muscle, made of stone

Spread out base, the top alone

Is reaching for the stars.

Carved by man, and touched by God,

Covered up by trees and sod

A monument to time.

As the tiny seed becomes a spreading crop.

The spread out base becomes a point on top

In perfect symmetry.

A monument that can never fall.

The walls, the roof, the form so tall

Forms a perfect unity.

------------------------

I was fascinated by the cemeteries. They were miniature rich neighborhoods with huge houses that looked like churches, banks and villas. They were walled in with rows of stacked headstones that looked like apartment blocks for the dead who could not afford better accommodation.

Litter my grave with my favorite seeds

Give me one big stone

And let me have sweet dandelions

So I can freely roam.

Encircle me with thorny rose

So I can keep discreet,

Let me have some honey bees

I like to keep it sweet.

Breathe my soul and eat me up

And let me come inside.

Let me also have sweet grass

So I can blow your mind.

-------------------

Occasionally I fell in love, but it never went beyond sex. 

Our souls embraced, our bodies kissed

And we flew our separate ways.

Your soul lingered on but your body is missed

Lets kiss again one day.

Lets live our life in harmony 

And sing a happy song.

And teach everyone the melody

And how to sing along.

Sometimes the world seemed very crazy.

I said "stop the world, I want to get off"

And they lit me another toke.

I met a group the other day

Discussing anti pollution.

The room was so filled with dirt and noise,

Filthy people spiting and smoking.

Angry people marching and shouting

In an anti-war demonstration.

The air is so charged with violence

An army of people ready for battle.

There are so many people starving today,

And all that we can give them is cake.

The world is so filled with over filled nations.

Wealthy nations feeding on hunger.

I passed by some people carrying signs saying

"Please help us feed the hungry".

Hamburger stands were making great sales

To the overfed marchers drinking and feasting.

I attended a lecture on Conservation.

It was a waste of my precious time.

I went to the doctor, ill and uneasy,

I hoped he would make me feel better.

And all his rooms were filled up with disease.

Depressed dying people, praying and moaning.

I went to the local nightclub bar,

I hoped that would make me feel happy.

But the bar was so filled with hypocrisy.

Desperate people sadly laughing and smiling.

I went to the city the following night.

I hoped crowds would make me less lonely.

But the streets were so filled with loneliness.

Depressed lonely people, alone and not caring.

I went to the church to give that a try.

I hoped that would raise my spirit.

But the halls were so filled with misery,

Depressed needy people, kneeling and crying.

Please stop the world, I want to get off.

And I'll take that joint for the road.

Stop the world, I need to get off.

This joke is too heavy a load.

And I tried to make some sense of it.

To be a human being complete

You need to be a man in heat.

A hunter with passions wild,

A farmer with cultivated mind.

Branches that spread out high.

To be a human being complete.

You need to be a woman sweet.

A butterfly with flight enticing

That flutters by like it was dancing.

Roots that reach down deep.

To be a human being complete

You need to be a child so meek.

Innocent and dressed in flowers

Growing strong, displaying powers.

Seeds that fly away.

To be a human being complete

You need to be a saint down deep.

A pond reflecting all emotion

A cobweb moving with every motion.

Leaves that turn to gold.

Oh to be a man, God's son.

Man, woman, child and saint in one.

Feel all the pain and all the pleasure.

Time to toil and time to leisure.

Grow as perfect as a tree.

1980

All of my brief love affairs left me with beautiful memories.except one. This lady from Holland I met in Chiloe Chile where I was searching for some witches that I read about in my tourist guide. 

You're my heroin lady, You witchy lady,

Please take your spell off me.

You make it hard, I come inside,

And then you pierce my heart.

You tickle my brain, Then you make me insane,

Leaving me in the dark.

You always come, You make me numb,

But then you never stay.

You hurt so often, You make me soften,

And then you hurt again.

One moments pleasure, And none of leisure,

And always so much pain.

The sky is crying, My dreams are dying,

I'm drowning in this rain.

Growing bolder, Your heart is colder,

Than this freezing rain.

Take your schemes, And leave my dreams,

Free me of your chains.

You make me twitch, You nagging bitch,

Let me have some peace.

Cold witchy lady, You make me so crazy,

Please take your spell off me.

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