1995
With the added expense of the house, we were gradually having more and more trouble making ends meet each month. My salary included a 13th paycheck which I put into a long term savings account reserved for the children's education fees. They were each locked for 5 years so every year, one of the accounts were freed up. When I went to the bank to renew the account that just expired, I was told that Sussanne had already withdrawn it. I told Susanne that she had to return the money by the end of the year, but when the end of the year came, she not only did not renew the account, but instead removed a second account that had matured. and was ready to be renewed. I felt like getting a double blow. I reminded Susanne about our agreement that any increase to our budget caused by the additional house expenses would be paid by her increasing her part time income from her markets and house emptying, or from a part time job.
I came up with what I continue to consider a brilliant move to slowly get back the children's money... I would just simply not pay her telephone bills, which because of the long distance calls to Bern were getting into the hundreds of Franks per month. Susanne warned me that should I do that, she would just simply take the money one way or the other, even if it meant taking it from my wallet when I am not looking. After losing a few hundred Franks, I started hiding my wallet. It was difficult time for both of us. I talked with the bank manager who suggested that I cut her access to the children's account, so I did.
All throughout this time, both Susanne and I were committed to go our own ways. I just somehow hoped that it would take a longer time. Susanne wanted me and Christopher to live separately nearby. I told her that as long as we were married, I would not move out and if she needed a rest time as she called it, she could move out for a while herself. We talked about a divorce and what I would do. I agreed that I would not pack up and return to Canada with Christopher if I get a divorce as I had planned to do from the beginning. With the seven years we were a family and with Mathew in the picture, I realized that going back to Canada was no longer an option. We agreed instead to concentrate our efforts in working towards a divorce that would be least disruptive to our kids.
One day I received a court order for me and Christopher to move out of the house. I was invited to defend myself in court against the charges of being an irresponsible and uncaring husband and parent and of being a detriment to the family. I was stunned helpless. I immediately decided to get a lawyer to represent me. Having no idea of who to chose, I naively chose the lawyer by blindly by pointing to a list of lawyers in the telephone book. Dr. Antionnetti Stüki seemed to be very sympathetic, and agreed to help me. She confirmed for me that I really had no choice but to move out. And that the divorce proceedings must wait and be done separately at a later time, 1 year later. She convinced me that If I hold the divorce off for 2 more year, then should I die, Susanne would receive a better benefit, so I held off for 2 years.
When I returned 2 years later, she told me that she would not represent me as she was an acquaintance of Susanne and it would be considered as a conflict of interest. She had the gall to charge me for representing me for the past 2 years. I found another lawyer that proved to be so bad that he fell asleep two times during my final court case. He was sitting directly behind me with his feet up on a railing. He started snoring and I had to move his feet to wake him up. It happened a second time in full view of the judge. Susanne's lawyer saw all this and gave me a Mona Lisa smile and I could not tell if it showed sympathy for me, or self-assurance for himself.
Forced to move out, Chris and I immediately found a modern sunny 2 bedroom apartment nearby and started filling it up with microwave, TV, computer, Nintendo, and other gadgets that Susanne refused to have in the house. About 1.5 km from Susanne's house, on the other side of town, it was ideally situated, close to the school, store, and train station. We lived on the 3rd floor of a 6 family house on a dead end street with lots of friendly families with nice kids. We had a balcony overlooking the Alps and the surrounding farmland. It was very rustic. I was happy to finally have my own place, and the children seemed to enjoy having 2 homes. It was near the school and the kids came over with their friends after school. I had a huge living room with just the TV and a big mattress. It looked like a kids gym, and they had a great time.
Whenever I remembered how bad it was in that old tinder box of a house with all the mice inside, I felt better about my situation. But I was never-the-less emotionally devastated and felt victimized and robbed of my family. To compensate my loss, my job became more and more interesting. Being a single parent was challenging. I had to race from work to be able to shop before the store closed. The train from work arrived 5 minutes before the store closed, and was fortunately near the train station. There were 6 families living in our house. I got along well with all of them except an Italian husband who did the family laundry the day after my turn. He would refuse to do the laundry on grounds that I did not leave the laundry room sufficiently clean. We had to hose the entire laundry room after each time that we used it. Fortunately, our janitor, a very nice lady living in the next house was sympathetic to me, and defended me.
I had to make a 3 week trip to Sweden to make a course for some Chinese customers. I ended up with a back problem that brought me back memories with my bout with the Lyme decease a few years ago. I ended up almost not being able to walk. The Chinese are very respectful of the elderly, and I must have looked very old hunched over like I was. It all started with an ear infection. I took saunas that were probably too many and too long and too hot. My situation greatly worsened. I found myself having to crawl to the bathroom over the weekends, and had to take the taxi to my classes. The Chinese students were very kind and respectful. They made me sit down and helped me carry everything for me.
I had to go on more and more business trip for longer and longer stretches. During my business trips, Chris stayed overnight with Susanne until once he asked me if he could stay overnight alone in his own home and sleep in his own bed. I was happy to see that he missed his own room, and that he wanted to be by himself. I agreed to give it a try, feeling that at 13, he was old enough. I would tell the neighbors whenever I went away, and asked them how it was when I came back. I even ask the teachers if Chris has been doing his homework properly. I never had a complaint.
1996
Canada and US
Chris: "Andrew, lets buy some new suitcases for our trip to Canada, we don't want to shame us by arriving to Ellie with all those old broken down suitcases, do we."
Shah and Adam picked Christopher and me up at the airport. I could hardly recognize Adam; he was so grown up. Reading one of his essays and listening to his arguments on the negative aspects of capitalism, I became really impressed with him. The boys were up half the night despite the 12 hour trip and the 6 hours time difference. By the time we settled down to sleep, we had been awake for over 24 hours. The 1st week was spent in Ontario. We went bowling and swam a lot in the house pool, the kids played Nintendo all night way into the early morning. We played mini golf once, and went to see the Welland Canal. We went to Marine Land, a marine zoo with rides for the kids. The kids enjoyed the world's longest roller coaster ride, loops and all. The following two weeks, we spent in Ohio with Ellie's friend Heinz who we met 5 years ago..
We played with Heinz's 20 odd cats that he fed. One of our favorites was affectionately known as "Duddley". We visited "Sea World" and got to feed the porpoises. Adam was really amused when one of the star killer whales went on strike and refused to perform. We saw a spectacular laser show in the evening and got lost in the middle of the night on the way back home. Poor Ellie nearly had a heart attack and even called the police to try to find us. We also went to an amusement Park called "Chiago Lake" where the kids enjoyed riding one of the oldest roller coaster rides. In the evenings we played with the millions of fireflies, went for regular long walks, and rented videos. It was a very peaceful time. We playing Frisbee on the great big lawn, Adam listened to classical music and read National Geographic magazines. The 4th week in Ontario we went back to Ontario to find that one by one we were all getting signs of ringworm.
We spent a week in New York. We stayed with Toni and Elizabeth. Elizabeth worked with my mother as a nurse in Montreal. When she moved to New York to work, they stayed friends. Elizabeth was the nurse of a poor Italian lady. She treated the lady very well and the lady's son Toni was very appreciative. Toni and Elizabeth became very close friends and eventually got married. Toni was a very nice friendly and happy man. He had many friends that he spent time with at the local pub after work. He played the lottery like everyone else with the hopes of getting rich and having an easier life. Then one day he won the jackpot.
They moved from their middle class Italian neighborhood to some rich suburb, and he quit his low paying long hour job. He bought a big house with a big garden, and a swimming pool. He bought his expensive car that he was always dreaming of and he bought the biggest TV screen he could find. He stopped going to the pubs because he felt that his friends were there to take his money. Then he got the same paranoid feelings about his family. He was too afraid of using his dream car to drive to New York, so it stayed in his garage, under a protective sheet, and the only time he saw it was when he was showing it off to visitors. He spent most his time in front of his entertainment set, and started to have health problems. In a few years he ended up to be a very bitter man.
The first day we took the train from Tony and Elizabeth's and went to see the Statue of Liberty. By the time we got there, the day was almost over, and we learnt how large New York really was. We took the last train back and arrived when everyone was asleep. We found a balcony door open, and next morning Tony was very angry with us for breaking into his house. The next day we decided to drive and found that it was not only cheaper, but also saved a lot of time. We walked around downtown, went to the United Nations and the New York Public Library, and went up the Empire State Building where the kids were fascinated with King Cong, having seen the movie. We lost Mathew momentarily what seemed like a very long moment. To end the day, Ellie ended up with a great deal buying some stolen jewelry from a street dealer. A man looking like a detective with a long dark coat came up to us and with his back facing the street he unbuttoned his coat and opened it up to us like a flasher would. The inside of his coat glittered as it displayed rows and rows of gold watches and jewelry hanging from it. He was very professional, and his deals too good to turn down.
One day we went to see Radio City Music Hall, the Broadway hit "Cats" and a bit of Harlem. David ended up crying because he thought the tickets were way too expensive, and we insisted on going anyway. Another day we stayed with Tony and Elizabeth to celebrate Tony's birthday. We took in the local Amusement Park and went to see the Atlantic beach nearby. The next day we drove thru the middle of Harlem, went to General Grant's Tomb, saw the inter-denominational Church nearby, parked the car and took a taxi to the Aircraft museum and even ended up going thru the innards of one of the navy ships that was actually closed to tourists. We walked around Wall Street and the World Trade Center. We walked thru Central Park to go see the 3D movie at the Imax Center. To end the day, we went to the Hard Rock Cafe just to find ourselves sitting in Bruce Springsteen's corner, Dave’s favorite superstar. Dave and all of us found this last special day in New York very magical. As we drove back home, we decided to have a quick drive thru the Center to see Rockefeller's square. We got hopelessly lost and ended up at a spot with a picture card spectacular silhouette of New York under a full moon.
On our last day we flooded Tony's cesspool by taking too many and too long showers and it overflowed into the basement. We were up to our ankles in shit that we had to mop up. Matias meanwhile managed to surprise everyone by being able to swim the length of the pool there and back all under water, about 10m. No one could believe it so he did it all over again just to prove it. The drive back home was memorable. David and me took turns driving. Adam was singing and playing in the back. Ellie was deciding how to hide all the gold bracelets and watches that she bought which she wanted to bring back to Canada without declaring them at the border. She almost had me David, Adam, Christopher and Matias each wear some of the loot as personal jewelry. We were memorizing our scripts of where and how we received such fine bracelets, when we all decided that it looked too obvious and that it was better just to have Ellie wear as much as she can, and to hide the rest in the luggage.
The last week we went back to Welland. One day we took a boat ride to the bottom of the Falls to look at it from below, and went up the lookout tower to see it from above. We went to a drive-in movie just to show the kids how it's like; we went to a golf course and tried that out as well. We went one day to Toronto to see a baseball game. After the ball game we went up the CN Tower, the world's highest. It was quite a thrill to walk over the glass floor half a kilometer up. We walked around Toronto at night to compare it with New York. Driving back late at night, the car broke down half way. Shah had to come and pick us up. It seems every time we take Shah's car, something happens. One time, the brakes failed while I was on the express way in Toronto.
Ireland
Even before I could unpack my suitcase from Canada, I was packing one for a business trip to Ireland. Still in the tourist mood from Canada, I decided to fly out early Friday night and fly back late Sunday night giving me 2 weekends of holidays. The course I had to give was in Dublin, and I had a great time. I walked about in the old section of town late in the evenings, eating out at a different place each night. I went to some pubs, and visited Trinity College. I explored the surroundings a bit, from the beautiful long beach in the south, to the golf course on the north. I was amazed by all the beautiful doors. I found the Irish sense of humor similar to that of the Hungarians, both joke and laugh over their problems and hardships when others would curse and cry.
China
I left my suitcases packed and ready to go again, and in September I had the fortune to go to China. For luck it was the really backward part of China, near Urumitchi, way up in the North West corner near Mongolia, where my long ago ancestors, Gengis Khan and his ancestor Attilla's bunch came from. I arrived in Beijing right at the break of day. Communication was a real problem, as not even sign language seemed to work there. Just getting to my hotel from the airport was an adventure by itself. I found myself in the middle of crowd of taxi drivers fighting over me. I chose the quietest one and soon realized that giving him the Hilton Hotel's calling card was like him giving me a scribble of Chinese characters.
I needed to change some money as one of my first duties was to pay 1,000 SFr worth of Chinese Yen to the travel office that had bought the remaining internal flight ticket to Urumitchi for me. The money exchange office was just opening and I was the first there, with my taxi driver right beside me. I helplessly flashed out my credit card, and soon after I was counting the 100 or so tattered bank notes that were given to me. For luck they were most all the same denomination, so I had some idea of its value. I have not and neither had the taxi driver ever seen so much money so close up, a wad nearly 3 cm thick, held by a few free fingers. The teller was kind enough to write out 'Hilton' in Chinese and the taxi driver suddenly understood where I needed to be taken. I followed the taxi driver to his unmarked car and hoped that it was a taxi and he would take me to the hotel intact. We drove around for what seemed like an uncomfortably long time. So many cars were honking that there was a constant sound of honking. The cars were driving wildly whirling in and out without following any traffic rules or etiquette towards the many bicycles and pedestrians mixed up in the traffic. He finally pointed to the hotel and instead of driving to the entrance parked his car in the parking lot next to the hotel.
I dropped off my stuff in my room and went to the Ericsson office just behind the hotel where I was finally able to get rid of the wad of bills in return for my plane ticket to Urumuchi. The secretary kindly circled Tiammen Square on the city map and marked my hotel with a huge “X” and I was on my way, not wanting to waste any more time. Finding anything on the map was hopeless as all street names on the map and on the street signs were in Chinese and all except their length looked the same to me.
After a magical taxi drive thru Beijing filled with 1000's of people bicycling to work, we arrived in Tiammen Square, where in 1989, thousands of demonstrators were massacred. It is enormously huge. The Square, which is actually only the entrance to the Forbidden City, is approximately 1 km wide and 2 km long. Just crisscrossing along the square took me a few hours. The square was crowded with Chinese tourists clicking their cameras or posing for a picture. I was what seemed to be the only non-Asian around. During my entire visit, I only saw a handful of non-Chinese. I visited the Forbidden City, an attraction of palaces and museums that can take days to see, I decided to see a bit of the real neighborhood where the people actually lived. I ate in one of the restaurants in the neighborhood and walked thru the surrounding parks. It was getting dark and I decided to take a taxi back to the hotel. I soon realized that everyone was driving without any lights. And they were driving like crazies. And they were honking so much, that there was not one moment of time when there was no honking to be heard. Car, bicycle and pedestrians weaved around each other like in a dance to the constant honking beat. I was happy to be safe and sound back in my hotel.
The next day I flew to Urumuchi where I was picked up, taken out to eat, and brought to my hotel by the engineer responsible for the project, a lady called Ma. She spoke English and explained that because the station where the equipment was installed in Kalamei was so remote and she was so over worked and under staffed, that she wanted the local operators to be able to recognize alarms and make minor changes to the equipment. The following day I was driven to Kalamei, about a 4 hour drive thru the desert.
The training course I had to give the next five days was for a room full of telephone operators and their assistants, mostly women. The assistants were on average the more capable, especially the younger women. All of them were very friendly and we all had lots of fun during the course. I had a really great unforgettable time. I was immersed and was forced to experience a bit of the Chinese way of living for a while. There was a total absence of any signs of foreign or western culture. No foreigners, no foreign food, no forks, no CNN, and nobody speaking English except for the translator I used for the course. Groups were exercising every morning outside with blaring music. The last day I was invited to a big banquet.
We drove back thru the impressive desert to Urumuch where Ma organized a bicycle for me and we bicycled around Urumuchi for a few hours. Then we had dinner with her 13 year old daughter Jenny who collected coins as a hobby. I promised to send her any coins that I collected from the many countries I was sent to. They walked me back to my hotel. It was great to be back in Switzerland and back with Christopher. My next trip was to Israel to give a 5 day course.
Israel
The 5 day course was from Monday to Friday, and I wanted to see Israel so I had my flight arraigned to give me a free weekend in the beginning, and another one at the end. I arrived at sunset on Friday and rented a car and drove off toward Jerusalem planning to drive as far as I could and stop at a motel along the way when I got too tired to drive. I ended up on the road going along the Dead Sea under a full moon. I was starting to get worried at not seeing any sleeping accommodations along the road. I was thinking of just driving on and sleeping in the car when I happened to stumble on a youth hostel at the foot of Medusa, where 1,000 Jews committed mass suicide during their last stand against Roman rule.
Early next morning I took the cable car leading up to the ruins of Herod's fortress, which 1000 Zealots took over before the Romans defeated them. I went for a few hours walk up one of the lush oasis valleys nearby. The water table below the desert surfaced at that spot in the form of a beautiful waterfall and surrounding oasis. In the afternoon, I went for a swim in the Dead Sea below. It is so salty that you can not sink, even if you try to. It is like wearing a life jacket and floaters on your feet. It was so unbelievable, that I dosed on and off floating in the water for an hour or so. The ring worm rash that I still had from Canada suddenly and miraculously disappeared.
After my swim, I decided to drive as far along the Dead Sea as daylight would permit. I drove thru Sodom and seeing the salt covered pillars along the shore evoked biblical images of salt and fire. I drove to a place called Arad because my great grandfather came from a place called Arad in Romania's Transylvania. The locals from Arad were all out on the square that evening and it was so nice to see so many families from the youngest thru to the grand-parents sharing the evening together. They were all laughing and having a great time. It was also especially nice to see small children allowed to stay up so late at night. I thought back to the time when the police in Bern chastised me for being out too late with the children.
Early next morning, I drove to Jerusalem and walked around the old town until mid-afternoon. The Jews with their distinct dress and hat were scudding among the Arabs in their robes, and the tourists in their Bermuda shorts and gadgets hanging from them. The highlight of my Jerusalem visit was a 14 year old Arab boy, Yusef who I hired. His English was very good and he was very open and talkative. He took me to his school, to the top of the wall that surrounds Jerusalem, and to the 2 Mosques. And he answered all the many questions I asked him.
On the way to Tiberias on the Sea of Galilee, I stopped by Quorum the site of the dead sea scrolls found 50 years ago written by the esoteric Essenes, and hidden from the Romans. Their message was of inner peace, love and righteousness that seemed to have influenced Jesus so much. I arrived in Tiberias late, and by the time I found the youth hostel, I still had time to look around a bit. I enjoyed seeing so many families young and old all enjoying themselves so late at night. Next morning, I drove around the Sea of Galilee going up to the Golan Heights. I picked up many local hitchhikers along the way, mostly solders going back home from their military service. The Golan Heights overlooks and flanks the peaceful Sea of Galilee. It funnels the rains into it, keeps it filled, providing most of Israel's water. How vulnerable this vital area to Israel's survival was convinced me of Israel's necessity of insistence to hold the Golan Heights as a buffer zone. The next day I had to go to work on a huge housing development where they were building an entire city from scratch in the middle of the desert. All the Israelis I met have the common dedication to enthusiastically work hard for their country, and laugh and have a good time doing it.
I made a business trip to Toronto in October for a week. I stayed with my sister Ellie and family during the weekend. It was so nice to see everyone again and before I knew it, it was suddenly Christmas time again.
Johanna
In March 1997, I was sent to Gabarone, Botswana for a week. I decided to spend the weekend in Johannesburg. I had the urge to meet some locals and decided to stay at a youth hostel in the center of the city instead of in a hotel. The youth hostel offered a free pick up service to and from the airport. Just as I arrived at the hostel, a tour to Soweto was just about to leave. I was able to join the tour and witness the infamous shanty town. The barbaric living condition of the almost million landless people was shocking. The houses were all made of discarded construction materials, and cardboard. The water supply was outdoor taps here and there. There was no electricity or telephone lines and only one hospital for the nearly million people who live there.
When I returned from Soweto, I was greeted warmly by the hotel matron Ma Sina. She warned me that the neighborhood was extremely crime ridden and that I should not walk around in the evening alone. We were having a nice conversation when in walked this beautiful black shapely lady that I seem to see only in movies and daydreams. She had the most beautiful loving smile. I thought she was in her twenties. When I found out that she was 42 years old and single, I caught myself thinking that I had to get to knew her more.
After a few hours chatting in Sina's office, Johanna and I went out for dinner. Over diner we talked and decided that we owed it to ourselves to get to know each other better. Johanna was actually from Gabarone, and it is just a 4-hour bus ride away so we decided to cancel my flight and go by bus together. During the night I heard a gun fight that sounded like it was coming from right under my window. We met Sunday morning, and had a big breakfast together. We went to the airport to buy some money and cancel my air ticket to Gabarone. Then we went to the bus station where we saw hundreds of minivans used as public buses. Although there was only space for about 9 people, they stuffed up to 12 people with their luggage. Joanna and I were stuffed into the small van-bus along with all the other passengers for the 4 hour trip with only one stop at a KFC restaurant, my favorite fast food outlet.
For the next 3 days I went to work, and in the evenings, I spent time with Johanna and her family. We made love in our hotel to make up for our lack of it for so long. On Thursday, Johanna had to go back to Johannesburg, and I had to go to the stations in the gold mine 2 hours drive away where the equipment was installed. On Friday evening I flew back early Saturday to be with Johanna again. On my last day before returning back to Switzerland, we took Susanne, Johanna's daughter, to a goldmine, and she accompanied me to the airport in the evening. It was sad, as I did not know when or if I would ever return.
Nanchang
Soon after I was sent to China. I arrived in Beijing early in the morning and spent a day there till my connecting flight to Nanchang. I found a hotel near Tiammen Square and decided to see that at night for a change. At the hotel I found a day trip to the Great Wall of China, about 2 hours drive away. I was dazzled by its size and length, winding as far as the eye can see.
The Great Wall, built more than 2,000 years ago, stretches 6,000 km from the ocean on the north, to the mountains in the south providing a barricade against foreigners for all but the very end of China's long history. It is about 8 meters high, and just as wide. It zigzags along the top of ridges crossing from one ridge to the next over mountain passes. The wall does not bridge valleys, but follows the highest point. At some places it gets so steep that the road on top of it becomes steep steps.
The day after I arrived in Nanchang, Mr. Zuo, the Chinese man I was to work with took me and his 6-year-old daughter out to a mountain resort a few hours drive away. We took the train there and the bus back. It was a thrill to have his 6-year-old daughter along. There was a walk up along a high cliff and it was all very beautiful. There were lots of tourists, but only a handful of non-Chinese. Everyone was so friendly staring at me and treating me as if I had dropped in from another world. The work was very hectic for a week right from the beginning. We had to wait one week for additional material to be delivered, and that week was more enjoyable. Every day I would walk to work along a busy main street in the city center. We always ate out during lunch and sometimes in the evening as well.
Mr. Zuo was very friendly. He occasionally drove me around on his motorcycle. He took me one Sunday to a Buddhist Temple, and helped me do some shopping. Most did not speak English, and to make matters worst, they use very little body language. They compensate for it by speaking loud. They slurp their spaghetti sucking the entire length into their mouths with an art that allows them at the same time to slurp in some of the soup with it. They shovel the rice into their mouths until it is fully full, and some of them even chomp on their food extra loud to proclaim their satisfaction. The streets are constantly kept clean by street cleaners picking up garbage thrown out by everybody else.
One day I took a half a day off and visited the university with hopes of meeting some locals that could talk some English. Sure enough I found myself invited to the university cafeteria for some supper. Miss Lily showed me all around introducing me to all her friends. They called each other by English names which all of them had. The women placed Miss in front of their name. Everyone called me Mr. Andrew. Miss Lily lent me her spare bowl with a metal spoon. When I jokingly protested at not being given chopsticks she quickly exchanged her chopsticks for my spoon. I later realized that I was the only one eating with chopsticks in the cafeteria. And trying to find spoons in China is like trying to find chopsticks here. Miss Lily explained that the students found it more convenient at university to use a spoon as the food they received was a gruel kind of mixture that is not served normally anywhere and it was easier to eat it with a spoon. Miss Lily and her friends were very warm and caring. They reminded me of a friendly group of nuns.
Later that evening, Miss Lily invited me to what she called the “English Circle”. Every Thursday evening students gathered outside in the yard and practiced their English with one another. They formed circles and chatted one at a time. Before I knew it, I was in an expanding circle bombarded by all kinds of questions. The topic soon turned to politics and the circle turned into a tight thick crowd around me. We freely talked about Mao, communism and freedom, and when I asked a question about human rights, a stout girl formally introduced herself as Miss Natalie and demanded that we change the topic. Before I knew what was happening, the crowd suddenly loosened and melted away into the darkness leaving me alone in the dark. It felt as if the spotlights on me suddenly went out.
I really enjoyed working with Mr. Zuo. He was totally over-worked and under compensated, but he, like most of the Chinese, was always smiling. The purpose of my trip was to set up a field trial of our equipment. Mr. Zuo anxiously confided in me that he had just been given the chance of buying a new house thru some kind of special program set up by the company for their employees. He explained patiently how important it was to him that the field trial be successful. A failure of the field trial he believed would be very damaging to his position as he would be personally blamed for it. On the other hand, he would share the success if the field trial was successful and ran without problems.
Mr. Zuo was in charge of impartially observing and running the field trial thru its phases. His goal was to successfully demonstrate it to his superiors. Despite a 3 week course on the equipment a few months ago, the equipment and the entire field trial was too complicated for him to operate and maintain, and demonstrate. Due to language difficulties, he apparently didn't profit and learn enough. He feared that once I went, he would be left all alone, and he wouldn't be able to successfully manage the field trial on his own. I had to agree. He had to worry about equipment from different vendors all required to work together and all having complicated manuals only in English, to make things even more difficult for him. And the poor guy had minimal resources available to him.
Mr. Zuo had so little self confidence that it was humorous. He would ask me to help him fine-tune some application from another vendor that neither of us knew too well. I would tell him that we need to play a bit around with the equipment to get to know it better, but he never had the nerve to touch and change anything for fear of inadvertently changing something that he could not change back. In the end everything turned out fine. All he needed was a bit of hand holding and assurance that if he needs help after I left, I would be available to help him from Switzerland. We finished all the work just in time, and I was invited out to a farewell banquet. The next morning they had a taxi ready to drive me to the airport.
The driving in China was like I have never seen anywhere else, seeming to be without rules. When a car tries to overtake a slow bus, it drives off the road forcing the people to jump into the gutters. The traffic appears chaotic with pedestrians, bicycles and motorcycles competing with cars, buses and trucks of all shapes and sizes interweaving like spaghetti. The drivers honk their horns often after each passing as if to say "thank you and good-bye". They all seemed to know when to give and take right of way so synchronous and with so little room for error, like a choreographed dance. Although most cars had many bumps, I never saw any accidents.
My taxi driver was making good time racing to the airport when suddenly he slowed down at a traffic jam and banged his fist together indicating that there was a collision up ahead. The cars were piling up around the accident scene. We were all just stuck waiting when I realized that unless I did something, I was going to miss my flight back home. I motioned the driver that I was going to take my suitcases and walk over to the other side and try and find a driver to drive me on to the airport. He studied his watch for a moment and started to turn around. Inching his way to get thru the crowd of cars piling up behind us. With pedestrians, bicycles, motorcycles and potholes to avoid and with his horn almost constantly blaring, the driver raced thru a back way road towards the airport. He glanced at his watch from time to time and ensured me with a smile that we were probably going to make the airport on time, Just as I was about to stop him before he killed us or someone else, we arrived at the airport and I managed to get on my plane just in time.
Vacation in Europe
Summer vacation in 1997 with Christopher, Matias, and Adam was a great success. Adam planned the trip, and we drove a large elongated circle thru Vienna, Budapest, Bucharest, Krakow, Prague, and back home within a 5-week period. The main goal of the trip was to be together and to learn about the post-communist countries. For luck we all preferred to stay up late and sleep all morning.
It was difficult to try and please everyone owing to our great differences, and Christopher and Matias were real hard to please. But even they, in the end, admitted that it was a fun time despite being cooped up in the car for so long, and trying to keep up with Adam and me in our long discussions and long walks. For Matias, the highlight of the trip was meeting all the people. I fully agreed.
Adam had matured so much since the last time I saw him, and turned out to be a scholar. I had to work during the days in the office, but we would go on long bike rides in the evenings, and have long discussions out on the balcony late into the night. The kids still had school, and Susan kept Adam busy with concerts, galleries and museums. I haven't laughed so much for many years, as I have with Adam around. When we finally drove off, we drove all night to Vienna and spent the day visiting Freud's house and his neighborhood. The kids mostly fought outside, I refereed, and Adam enjoyed a coffee in the Cafe where Freud regularly visited. We walked thru the park that Freud regularly walked. The next day we drove to the center and walked around and drove around the city center a bit before driving on to Hungary.
Hungary
Our first stay was in Szombathely and we walked around the places where I walked around over 40 years ago. We drove to Nagykanizsa and paid tribute to my grandfather Zsigmond and cleaned his grave a bit. Then we paid a tribute to my father by visiting the church that he designed. On our last night we stumbled on a party packed restaurant that had the best gypsy music and goulash soup we have ever heard and tasted. The next day we found a hotel on Lake Balaton, and stayed a few days swimming between rainstorms. There were lady bugs everywhere, I have never seen so many before. Chris and Mathew had their TV and beach, and Adam and me had a bit of time to plan the next phase of our journey.
Moment for remembering: Adam and Christopher going to the disco, me trying to go to a disco latter, paddling out in the lake, visiting the castle with the nights in armor fighting for the tourists.
When we arrived in Budapest, we quickly settled down and briefly visited Maria Néni. She was ill and all her cats and dogs and all the neighborhood dogs that we remembered so vividly from our previous visits were nowhere to be seen. They had all died.
We met Erszy and Tibor and their family. We told them about our plans to visit the libraries to find out more about Zsigmond’s uncle, Karoly Vecsey, one of the 13 Martyrs who fought for the people's freedom 150 years ago. Erszy called her librarian friend at the parliament library and made special arrangements for us to be admitted early next morning. We left Matias and Christopher asleep and made our first excursion into Budapest. It was a pleasure to be with Adam. He makes a great guide with his oratorical voice and his great knowledge in the architecture and in the history of all the places we visited. We were both awed when we stepped out of the dark subway into the sunlight outside, and saw the parliament buildings in the sunlight. The librarian met us at the door, and gave us a privileged tour of the National Archives. Erzsy’s daughter Réka promised to summarize the many Hungarian documents we copied into one English paper.
Then we met my cousin Andrea and Zoltan. It was a delight to see them. We took them out to the restaurant where they had their wedding party 50 years ago. Christopher and Mathew chose the eating places, and they cooperated more or less in following us around all mostly in the rain to all the sites and museums and churches Adam and I wanted to go see. We found accommodation in a private house with a playful young German shepherd dog called Jacky who took an instant liking to Mathew.
We visited Szobor Park on the outskirts where all communist statues and memorials removed from all the squares after the communist downfall were respectfully put away. Adam insisted on driving back to pick up his Lenin hat so that he could wear it to pay tribute to all the revolutionaries he admired. Statues were scattered like gravestones in a cemetery.
One day on the subway we got stopped and fined by a ticket controller because we had not canceled our tickets. When the controller explained to me that I would have to pay four pricey fines for driving without tickets I refused. She took us to an office and left us waiting outside. While we were waiting Adam said ”let's book“ in such a tone that Mathew somehow understood and started running after him. Christopher ran after Mathew and I ran after all of them past the pesky controllers at the exit, until we were well outside.
When we took the train back home I took out the note where I wrote which train station to get off. I then realized that I wrote down the Hungarian word “Station“ instead of the station's name. Fortunately our house was near the roman ruins so when we finally found the ruins and explored them a bit, we were able to find our house. One day we found our car's window broken, and they stole my camera and my keys.
We arrived in Arad in the rain late at night and gladly took the first hotel we saw. It was hot and stuffy, but it made us get up early and have an early start for a change. We went to the bank to get some Romanian money and came back with handfuls of bills. We found the memorial commemorating the 13 martyrs one of which was Karoly, our relative. The memorial was moved from the center of Arad to a parking lot for campers and soccer players on the outskirts. We cleaned around the memorial and paid our respects and admiration. Then it was off to find Count Dracula in Transylvania.
Transylvania
We arrived near Dracula's Castle late as usual. I had the occasion to have a long chat with the receptionist at our hotel who was a Hungarian speaking Romanian. She told me about her difficult life. About how better off they were before the communists fell. It was the same story we already witnessed in Hungary and the same story we were to witness the rest of the trip. We arrived at Dracula’s Castle just in time for the last tour of the day, and as we were the last ones, and were alone, the kids found Dracula's bed and hid under the covers. We enjoyed the all night music and dancing of a wedding party that was in full swing in the hotel lobby. Adam ended our “Dracula“ day by telling us horror stories that he made up on the spot.
Bucharest
I expected to drive the entire day to get to Bucharest. At the halfway stop we ate and suddenly realized that we were almost there and that we had more time for our trip than we did initially thought. So we decided to drive on to Bucharest and settle down for a few days.
We drove without finding any accommodations. We were amazed by the size of Ceausescu's palace and the promenade leading to it. It's claim to fame was being the world's largest, most expensive, and heaviest building in the world. It is bigger than the pyramid at Gaza. It is 270m x 240m and 12 stories or 86m high and deeper than it is high. It is built over Bucharest's historic district and required the destruction of 36 churches and displacement of 30,000 residents. We drove to the train station where we were greeted by George the architecture student trying to make some money in his summer break by helping lost tourists like us find accommodations. He brought us to Mutter Maria's apartment. She was the janitor of one of the blocks in the outskirts of the city. It was sad to see that she had most things, but no money to use or fix them. The electricity and water were turned off most the time. She had a car, but no money for gasoline.
Christopher and Matias were especially kind to the hundreds of hungry stray street dogs, especially around McDonald's. We stayed in Mutter Maria’s apartment for 3 days. Our last night we had the pleasure to invite 2 lovely girls living in the neighborhood, Michelle, and her best friend Michelle to McDonald’s. We had a great time talking about how things are in Romania and Adam exchanged addresses with one of them. Bucharest had 2 million inhabitants and a quarter million stray dogs.
We had time only for one more stop over, and that was to be Krakow. I drove all day thru what appeared to be a back winding road up towards Krakow with everyone else asleep. We stopped over one night and continued on to Krakow early next morning. The weather alternated from storm to sun during the entire day. Animals were freely roaming on the road. Everyone in the car was sleeping, and the peace and quiet was wonderful. At sunset Matias thought it was morning and he felt that he had slept thru the night. For the first time on the trip we had menus that we could not understand. We had a great time ordering by acting out a chicken and drawing cows and mushrooms. Christopher ordered chicken wings by flapping his elbows. The waitress must have been really tired and when she tried to explain to the cook that we wanted only wings, she repeated Christopher's order by flapping her elbows around in the same way. Christopher surprised me by unexpectedly announcing to the world by repeatedly shouting from the car at the top of his voice at the passersby that he will finally get serious about his school.
Krakow
We entered Poland as it was getting dark. The terrain started to resemble a roller coaster, fun at first but annoying in the end. There was a detour that got us utterly lost for a while and there were no hotels available. But everyone fell asleep and I found my way again and suddenly I had my peace and preferred just to drive all the way to Krakow in silence letting everyone sleep while I was driving instead of going thru the entire hotel circus that I hated by this time so much. I eventually found something early in the morning on the way to Auschwitz, so we were able to spend the entire day walking around the concentration camps where over a million people mostly Jews were exterminated.
Prisoners, mostly Jews, were transported from all over German-occupied Europe by rail, like cattle. The group selected to die, about three-quarters of the total, included almost all children, women with children, and all the elderly and the sick. They were inspected by an SS doctor weeding them out for the ovens. They were told to take a shower and undergo delousing. They undressed in an outer chamber and walked into the gas chamber, which was disguised as a shower facility, complete with dummy shower heads. After the doors were shut, SS men would dump in the cyanide pellets via holes in the roof or windows on the side. In Auschwitz II-Birkenau, more than 20,000 people were gassed and cremated each day.
The camp was staffed partly by prisoners, mostly German convicts, some of whom were selected to be orderlies to keep order in the barracks, and others to be sonderkommandos to work the crematoria preparing new arrivals for gassing. The orderlies and sonderkomman-dos were supervised by 6,000 SS members.
Sonderkommandos removed gold teeth from the corpses of gas chamber victims; the gold was melted down and collected by the SS. The belongings of the arrivals were seized by the SS and sorted in an area of the camp called "Canada," so-called because Canada was seen as a land of plenty. Many of the SS at the camp enriched themselves by pilfering the confiscated property.
Nearly half million Hungarian Jews were deported to Auschwitz, at a rate of 12,000 a day within a few months. The incoming volume was so great that the SS resorted to burning corpses in open-air pits as well as in the crematoria.
We were all left numb by it. We settled in a youth hostel in an 800 year old village 30km from Krakow and walked around the old Krakow market bazaar and shopped for gifts, fed the birds, and walked around in the drizzle. Next day we visited a castle, churches and saw a movie.
Prague
We drove all day and arrived in Prague in time for a nice supper and a midnight walk thru the old center. It was magnificent and alive. Adam and me were awestruck by the beautiful buildings and statues and fountains lit up all over the place. We walked around a few hours keeping awake with Red Bulls. Christopher and Mathias were just too tired, so we left beautiful and enchanting Prague. I drove all night until I was the only one awake. When I got too tired to drive, I got out the air mattress and slept by the side of the car, until the kids came to wake me up early in the morning. Next morning, we drove to Ludwig's castle in Neuschwanstein where we managed to take in the last tour of the day. And from there it was all the way home.
Home
Matias kept me awake in the last stretch to home. He read all the traffic signs and sang along with the Beetle songs playing on the cassette player. We were both awed by the spectacular show nature was displaying for us. Leaving Austria, we witnessed a spectacular scene of a cloud falling off a cliff that looked like waterfalls. As we entered Switzerland, we were greeted by cloud to cloud flash lightning alternated with bolts that brightened the sky and shook the car. At one point, I had to stop driving because the rain was so heavy, it felt I was driving under a waterfalls. Then it would suddenly stop and be clear again for a while. The last couple of hours were highlighted with roadwork with synchronized flashes flashing along the road. I felt like I was driving around Las Vegas. I was relieved that I would not have to search for a hotel room with TV and 4 beds again.
We all slept like logs and the next morning Adam and I went off to say our last round of good-byes together. We invited Susanne and family to a farewell dinner. I then understood why Adam ordered beer so often. 17 is too young to be served beer with a meal in Canada. After dinner, we went back home and we couldn't stop talking and laughing. We eventually decided to stay up all night and recollect on our wonderful adventure as a way to properly close it. At dawn, we went for our last bike ride before coming back in time to shower, pack, and eat, and walk to the train station to wait for our train to the airport. At Bern, we had a 7-minute wait over to transfer to the train going to the airport. We were sitting there all sad for I don't know how long when Christopher remembered and got us off in time to change our train. We decided to end our wild adventure with a bit of elegance and had an elegant breakfast on the train. It wasn’t long before I missed Adam greatly. Matias told me in reflection-- "Adam likes his beer, he is a kisser, and a really nice guy". I am really thankful for Adam for being such a good companion and for making it so educational and entertaining for all of us.
Christopher was playing at the house of a friend of Susanne. Her husband was a doctor and he had a very big dog that bit Christopher on the head. Being a doctor, he stitched him up and had the gall to send me a bill. Of course I didn't pay, but later thought that I should have sued him, but the last thing I needed in my life was another lawyer.
Danger Notification
In September, I got a letter from the child protection agency that there was a procedure undertaken to have Christopher removed from my custody. I immediately went to my lawyer, and it was confirmed to me that the charges were very serious. I explained the situation to Christopher and he was in disbelief at the false accusations. I formulated my rebuttal and gave it to my lawyer. Christopher and I were shocked. A school psychiatrist who Susanne indirectly complained to about my style of child upbringing made the charges against us. I was dumb founded, and so was Chris.
China
An urgent problem developed in China and I had mixed reactions on first hearing that I would have to go to return. One part of me asked, "who needs all these extra problems just to see China". And still a great part of me was looking for a change from all of my recent problems and longing for an adventure. I sprained my ankle a half week before the trip and I arrived limping into Nanchang.
Six months before, when I was last there, I set up a field trial connecting our equipment to their exchanges from Ericsson, with whom we had a joint venture agreement. Since Ascom didn't yet have the interface to the exchange. It bought that part from Tdsoft, a supplier in Israel.
During the past 6 months, Ascom bought back its shares of the Ericsson-Ascom joint venture, and it was clear for everybody that the relationship of the two partners took on a competitive aspect. To make things worst, the internal bickering within Ascom concerning the managing of the China markets was as well a problem and it was decided to form a new division in Hong Kong and in Beijing to deal with it from a closer position. There was a deadline to finish the field trial and we were right at the deadline. If we couldn't make our equipment functional, we would lose out and not be able to continue.
What followed were a series of events that were very theatrical. The main characters were Mr. Zhang, the manager of Ascom, Beijing, Mr. Li, his young assistant, Howard from Ascom Hong Kong, and Amir from Tdsoft Israel. Mr. Li met Howard and me in the lobby of the Hotel in Nanchang. The scene was a 21story hotel built like a cylinder with the hallway going round on the inside. From the lobby in middle, it looked like the building was inside-out with the outside curving into itself in the inside. It looked most confusing and unreal and along with the jet lag, increased the buzz I already had.
Mr. Zhang dutifully filled us in with the happenings in the last 6 months. He explained how the Chinese PTT liked our equipment, but was wondering why part of it was dangling outside. That was the Tdsoft interface to the Erricson exchange. As he said that Mr. Zhang jumped out of his seat to point out and highlight how far away the Tdsoft box was. He added with a puzzled look that the Chinese PTT wondered why that dangling part was black while the rest of the equipment was the usual Ascom gray. Mr. Zhang covered one of his eyes with his open hand as he continued and quoted the Chinese PTT evaluators. "We are willing to close one eye" Mr. Zhang stated and added with relief that the Chinese PTT praised Ascom for honesty as other suppliers had the same temporary 3rd party solutions like us, but they hid it, out of sight.
Then very softly, he informed us that 1 hour ago. Ericsson called him to inform him that their expert who we needed to make the connection and who was arraigned to be with us was no longer available. Ericsson had pulled out of the field trial in the last minute and suddenly became our competitor.
We all agreed that we must get the Chinese PTT into the picture, and on Sunday afternoon, Mr. Zhang arraigned an emergency meeting. The Chinese understood our predicament and were very sympathetic, and helpful. They realized that it was presently not in Ericsson`s interest that Ascom be successful in this field trial. “Because the 2 brothers” as the Chinese refereed to Ascom and Ericsson “are fierce competitors now”, they said that they would indirectly try to ask support from Ericsson exchange experts to connect our equipment to be able to test before the deadline expired. Eventually they arraigned Mr. Yokosaski from Japan to help us connect to the exchange. Mr. Zhang to my horror suddenly left to go back to Beijing and left us his inexperienced Mr. Li who just started his job 3 months ago .Mr. Li was very dedicated and competent and passionately and openly proclaimed his hatred and shame of Mao Tze Tung. He compared Mao to Sadam Hussein. He informed us that Mao let 20 million Chinese die of starvation because of his closed-door policies.
We were invited up to Mr. Yokosaki's hotel room, and he had just finished what looked like a yoga session. He was in his robe and sandals when he greeted us in the Japanese way. Unfortunately Mr. Yokosaki couldn't speak English. He scanned the documents and promised to be ready next morning to program the exchange for connecting to our equipment. Next day he came and typed in the right commands and pushed the right switches and everything worked OK.
Heading for Hong Kong, I had a 5 hour stopover in Guangzhou airport. I decided to spend the night in Guangzhou and take the 2 hour bus to Hong Kong the following day. I put in my credit card in the ATM to get some money, and my card was not returned. Nor was any money given out. I had no money and the bank was closed. I was stranded and felt lost, and nobody could speak English. Then by a stroke of luck, a man in a black suit appeared like an angel and offered to help me in English.
At first I thought he was an official tour guide. He introduced himself as a freelance tour guide who could find anything a tourist needed or wanted. As I knew that I would need considerable help, I negotiated a set fee and hired him to get me functional again. I asked him to find me a good cheap hotel, one that locals use. He took me to a building that didn't look at all like a hotel, as it didn't have any reception desk. A man came out of a door and after money was exchanged, we entered an apartment that looked just like the 5 star hotel I had in Nanchang, except it was smaller, and didn't have any English TV channels. The bathroom looked similar, except the marble was plastic. The furnishings and room arrangement was identical. Not wanting to eat alone, I invited him to a dinner. When he told me about his family waiting for him back home, I invited them as well. He returned with his wife and 2 year old son and we all went out for a nice evening. We had dinner and went on a boat ride to see the port of old Canton. Then we all went to a disco to end the wonderful evening.
The next morning he took me back to the airport bank to retrieve my credit card and I was able to get some money and pay him for everything he did. He stayed at the airport waiting for another helpless tourist, and I took a taxi to the “72 Martyr Memorial” Park before continuing on to the train station. The taxi driver told me he would wait for me to finish the tour of the park. I invited him to visit the park with me and when I bought him the ticket, the people in the ticket office loudly applauded. The memorial turned out to be a beautiful park commemorating the birthplace of the Chinese nationalist movement. It was filled with locals exercising all over the park. They played a game similar to beach volleyball using their feet as well as their hands to keep the ball off the ground.
I ended up taking the bus to Kowloon, just a short ferry away from Hong Kong. When I arrived, there were police dogs all around the station sniffing at all the baggage people had. So I took the very first taxi I could get and went to the nearest hotel. The driver got very upset when I did not have enough cash to pay him and that he would have to wait for me to exchange my traveler checks. He threw my bags on the ground and drove off cursing me. I spent the rest of the day in a huge city park. The Chinese really know how to make beautiful parks integrating natural wild settings with bridges and pathways. Then I went back to my hotel and prepared for my trip to Hong Kong which I planned for the next couple of days.
Some magic moments:
I was momentarily lost among all the Chinese signs and could not find myself on my map. A man on the street in front of a fur coat store handed me a leaflet advertisement. The pamphlet had a street map with a big box in the middle in the shape of an arrow with the English message "YOU ARE HERE---" pointing on a map.
Walking around all evening in the streets glowing with Chinese signs including the only recognizable one of McDonald's, I suddenly got hungry and wished to myself... wouldn't it be great to find a good old Kentucky Fried Chicken place. Seconds after my wish, I looked up the street, and there it was, a small KFC outlet. It is the only outlet that I saw and to my disappointment, I could not find it the next day.
Seeing the Hong Kong night skyline across the straits, I took the ferry over and walked about the skyscrapers which were lit up like giant lights, It was so beautiful that early next day I returned to see them lit up pink like crystals. I took the cable car up the steep slopes above them and seeing them in that special light from above was so beautiful that I thought I was hallucinating. I later looked for pictures and posters of the same scene, but with that special lighting, only a abstract painting would come close to how it looked. The hill drops steeply to the water and hugs a strip of huge skyscrapers shoved closely together to form a narrow beach of giant crystals about 10 skyscrapers wide and so long that they disappear into the horizon about 10 km away. The color of the skyscrapers were white with shade of pink and blue. There was just enough mist draping the skyscrapers to give it that abstract painted look, but not to hide the expanse of it all. And the strip of skyscrapers just went on in the distance until they were just too far away and too small to be seen.
Driving to the airport was unforgettable. The driver showed off his dedication and urgency and drove like he was a policeman, twisting in and out of the traffic honking his horn to get us to the airport on time. It was all like an action movie and I thought how much Christopher would like it in my position, a virtual reality in the real reality; I decided to give in to the magic of it all and sit back and enjoy it for Christopher's sake.
Kuwait
I was sent to Kuwait in June 1998 during a record 51 deg C heat wave. The start of it all was very stressful, especially when I found out that the customer did not receive the proper equipment. After clearing up the misunderstandings, things got working quite well. For me it was even more of a culture shock than my visit to Botswana. Just the dress they all wore made it seem unreal. I felt sorry for those poor unfortunate women covered from head to toe in the blazing sun in black while the men wore white. The temperature reached 51 degrees and felt like a hair dryer blowing in your face. All the women were covered by a veil ranging from the entire face including eyes to just the neck and hair.
It all depended on the wishes of their husbands. The women who showed their eyes and only their eyes had beautiful eyes covered by make up that seemed to be extra large, as that was the only part of the face that was visible. Women who showed their entire face had just as beautiful big eyes but in addition they had lipstick covered lips with beautiful smiles, especially when they were laughing. There were what seemed to be an over abundance of stores selling sexy lingerie and luxurious extra large Jacuzzis. And then there were many jewelry and watch stores and shoe and handbag stores with all of the luxury brands. The men I worked with were all friendly and very arrogant. They only worked half the day and had time to pray when they were at work. They were replacing their Erricson exchange equipment with the very latest and most up to date that money could buy.
Canada
In the summer we were invited to David and Tara`s wedding. The first week Mathew, Christopher and I spent resting and just enjoying being taken care of by Ellie and using the pool and entertainment facilities of her house. We didn't go out all that much, except for one night of bowling. I went on two beautiful long bike rides. On the last one, I got lost and found a rich secluded neighborhood where people had what looked like ponds and golf courses on their front lawn with vicious dogs. Two of them went after me and for luck the owner was sufficiently close enough to manage to get them off me in time. We visited Canada's Wonderland and Mathew and Christopher got to try 30m bungee jumping for the first time. Mathew and Christopher enjoyed all the thrill rides while Adam and I enjoyed just talking.
Old friends
Mathew and Adam accompanied me on my voyage to meet some of my friends I left behind 23 years ago. Christopher stayed with Ellie, and spent time with David and Tara. We took Shah's tent and camped out the first night. Adam got to drive part of the way on his learners permit. We got to see a moose, and Mathew got to try roasted marshmallows over a campfire for the first time. We told each other horror stories and the next day I started on my visits. I was so anxious to see my old friends, I got caught speeding. The policeman was kind enough to let me off with only a warning.
Jerzy was the first one I visited. His mother died and he got married to a young archaeologist. He was selling his house to move down to Arizona where he first discovered the Egyptian seal in the desert that started him off on his theory that Nefertiti the Queen of Egypt was once in America. Jerzy and his new wife was unfortunately just at the start of a fight, and as the wife looked like she was just waiting for me to go so that she could get at Jerzy, Jerzy was clinging on to me for dear life begging me to stay longer.
My next visit was to Henry and found out that the old man I befriended while I was living next door had died. We drove up to Alfred and spent the evening talking about God and Communism. I escaped back to Sylvia's Echo Farm where Adam and Sylvia talked into the morning. The talk started early. As I was putting Mathew to sleep he insisted that I not talk too much as he was listening to Adam and Sylvia "talking about God and Communism". Mathew heard Adam talk a lot about communism from our last holiday in Romania, but the God part was new to us all. Holly a blues singer from East Berlin later joined our talk, which lasted till dawn. Holly who is an avowed communist to Adam's delight got expelled from his country as a dissenter of the system.
The next day we went canoeing for the day. It got very hot reaching 41°C. Going up the river was nice and easy, but on our way back a summer storm rushed in for a few hours. The strong wind was against us and I ended having to drag the canoe back to our car along the beach. We continued talking next evening, and Holly gave us a private concert. The following morning Adam stayed behind with Holly and Mathew and I went to see some caves nearby. Then it was off to visit Peter and Marylyn Saffries, Christopher's godparents. They are from South Africa and in the 15 years that I know them, their electrical installation business slowly grew from a one man operation to a small business of 15. Peter returned to a one-man operation after finding that his15 workers were better off than he was and that it was costing him money to keep them on. Then it was off to meet David Whitely whom I had worked with on my first job in Carlton Place nearly 26 years ago. I have not seen him since. We recognized each other by our voice. The lucky guy is still living in the same house and with the same wife as when I last saw him.
My next stop was Montreal to the neighborhood that I grew up in. Weredale House, the boy's home that I was raised in for 6 years when I was between 7 and 13 years old. It was closed and turned into offices and unfortunately we could not walk inside. We went to Saint Joseph's Oratory, an immense cathedral and to the lookout on top of Mount Royal overlooking the city where people go up the long stairs on their knees in hopes of a miracle to heal. My father was carried up in hopes of a miracle to die as he just refused to die which amazed the doctors. I took Adam to McGill University where I studied. Adam was interested in seeing it as he was entering his first year of university in a few weeks. We then picked up Nicole, the girl who still lived in the same apartment next door to ours where I lived with my mother. She introduced us to her friends in the neighborhood pool hall. Mathew made lots of friends playing pool with the local young men, especially a young hairy man called "the bear". We ended the day with a nice super in the old section of Montreal. We camped near Camp Weredale for the night and as anxious as I was to walk around the camp early next morning, it was just not meant to be. It suddenly clouded up, got very cold and started to hail.
It was too cold to walk around and we ended up driving to Mrs. McKinnon, my high school music teacher from Ireland who ended up marrying a dairy farmer. After she married and stopped teaching, she invite me to her dairy farm and I returned to visit her every 5 years or so. The last time I saw her was 12 years ago before I moved to Switzerland. It was funny to see her running around like she was on speed. Before she could show or tell us one thing, she was already starting on something else. It made it even more funny compare to her husband who was so still and quiet and dosing on and off in his couch. He didn't remember me and I don't think he was too happy to have us, as he noticeably cheered up when we were leaving. Before leaving we dropped by Camp Massawippi, the cripple children's camp where I work as a counselor for 2 summers in 1965 and 1966.
We drove the entire day back to Ellie's and we ended up circling for hours trying to find Ellie's house in the middle of the night. 2 weeks later when we returned to Ellie, we were surprised to have a letter from the social offices that a retired police officer who was at the same campground had submitted a complaint that a dark skinned boy and a younger white skinned boy were swimming naked in the lake. He added that the older boy was suspiciously affectionate with the younger boy.
Adam was always hugging and kissing his younger cousin Mathew, something that I found so very nice. I had to take Mathew to the social worker for an interview. I shaved my beard and we dressed up in our nicest clothes. I was interviewed first alone while Mathew waited in the next room. Then she interviewed Mathew with me present. I was proud how Mathew answered her questions. Both of us denied that Adam was a child molester, but insisted that he was a very affectionate cousin who missed his cousin from Switzerland. The counselor was very understanding. As we were leaving, she told us that she was missing her pager from her purse and asked if Mathew had taken it. Mathew denied that he took it, but as he was getting into the car, he threw the device under the car. Fortunately I saw it and made him go back and give it back to the lady and apologize for having taken it. She was very thankful and shook Mathew's hand. I remembered when I was Mathew's age I stole a toy car from my neighbor and my mother made me take it back and apologize for having taken it. It was a lesson I kept the rest of my life.
The third week was preparing for David and Tara's wedding.
David and Tara's wedding
Ellie showed what a graceful hostess she is. There was lot of guests from out of town and we had a special dinner for them the night before. Then there was the church ceremony with all of David's and Tara's invited friends all dressed up for a fairy tail wedding. My favorite scene was seeing Tara raise the flowers in her clenched fist in a salute of victory as they were marching out of the church. The evening celebration started off with Tara's and David's friends asking each other embarrassing questions about Tara and David and giving crude and vulgar answers. David and Tara and their friends found it all hilarious.
Adam made a speech. He started off by expounding his strong dislike for participating in all the pomp when there are so many poor people in the world. Then he explained that the ceremony was a proclamation of their commitment to stay together. Heinz recited a poem he wrote about how David and Tara met 9 years ago. Tara was yelling "Row Row Row" in front of the boat and David was the captain doing the rowing in the school-rowing club. At the end of each verse Heinz had the guests shout out "Row David Row".
After David's and Tara's friends bared their all in front of everyone, they took off their jackets and started having a really good time. The band was very good and everyone was dancing. Mathew dressed up like Michael Jackson attracted all of David and Tara's friends especially when they finally teased him to dance. Everyone was so impressed by his rhythm and twists and turns. He even slid under the legs of Tara's and David's friends like Michel Jackson could do. I was so happy to see him have such a good time. We stayed and helped with the cleanup and were one of the last to leave. Next morning Ellie and her family had a farewell breakfast with Ellie's out of town guests. We later heard that Mathew was seen going to the bar for shots of whiskey during the evening.
Ohio
Heinz invited us to spend some time at his place in Ohio in the heart of the Amish settlements. There Adam and I went for long walks talking about God and Communism into the early morning. Heinz cooked us his gourmet meals, and Christopher and Matias hit the video store and saw a collection of movies. We visited Heinz's cyclorama, the 100m by 3m circular mural he painted depicting the history of the Anabaptists. The fireflies were out as usual and it was so nice to do nothing but enjoy the sites and sounds of the horse drawn carriages of the Amish with boys dresses like their fathers, and girls dressed like their mothers. Christopher needed to do a math exam to enter the 10th grade which he needed to enter cooking school. I spent a few hours each day to prepare for his exam. He was furious but my persevering payed off in the end and he passed the test.
We visited Sea World where we were pleased to see Professor Fishinsky the tropical fish that we christened two years ago because he looked to us just like a professor. Christopher organized the tours and shows for us so all we had to do was just to follow him. He did such a good job of coordinating all the activities that we didn't miss one single show. We camped in a nearby campground for the night, and next morning after a nice pancake breakfast we headed for Chiago Lake, the amusement park with all the action rides. Christopher and Mathew enjoyed all the rides while Adam and I enjoyed our talks.
Adam had a learners permit and I let him drive me around the back roads. We found a cemetery that had some very old and interesting tombstones. We were talking about how the cemetery was like fast food to the worms when we passed by 2 family graves side by side marked The Burgers and The Fries. Driving out, we nearly drove over the Drunken family grave. Adam drove me to Zoar, the Mennonite moneyless commune village that eventually broke up due to disagreements when they built a hotel and the waitresses started to collect tips. Before we knew it, the holidays were quickly coming to an end. We had time only to return to Ellie's house and rest up for the long flight back home.
Botswana
I had to go back to Botswana, and for luck Johanna had Christmas break and she was able to come up with me. Johanna picked me up at the airport early Tuesday morning and we had breakfast at her place. I stayed at her apartment, which was nice enough, but the neighborhood was very uncomfortable, filled with crime. Her friends were very nice but all of them were in one sort of misery or another. I was starting to be afraid of what I was getting into. The culture shock shocked the daylights out of me and I was very confused and was happy that it was Monday and time for me to go back home. On our last evening together we went out and after diner we had to run away from gun shots nearby. It was an adventure, but it was very depressing to realize that it was real.
I was able to return to Botswana for 10 days in the summer. A local person knowledgeable on Ascom's equipment suddenly quit his job, and there was nobody else as his replacement. I arrive early Saturday morning and as usual, Johanna was waiting for me at the airport. Johanna lost her job because the factory she worked in suddenly closed and moved to the next neighboring township because of excessive strikes by the workers.
We were invited to a wedding party at a private house out in the suburbs that looked like something right out of National Geographic. The women were all dressed up and clapped their tongues like the Arab or Muslim women do. Many were attracted to me like flies while others seemed to avoid me like I was a spider. All were drinking a local brew. Then we all packed into cars and trucks and went to some hall and ate and danced. Johanna’s taxi driver friend Inus drove us up and Johanna left her purse with her keys and everything else on the back seat of his taxi. As we could not contact Inus we were all so afraid that the next customer would see the bag before Inus would. Johanna didn't want to dance and it was not too much fun watching the others dance all night.
When we went back to the private house, I opened one of the rooms and in the dark I saw a cow head on the floor looking up at me with his tongue sticking out. That was all that was left from the big wedding buffet. I finally found refuge in the room where the children and their mothers were packed in. Then we went home and the doorman worked about an hour to break down Johanna's bedroom door as she could not reach Inus about her bags. Fortunately he came by with the purser the next day.
We took the bus to Gabarone, a 5-hour trip thru savanna country in the crowded minibus. We arrived very late Sunday evening and stayed at Nana's house just like the last time. Nana's house has a bed room where she sleeps with her 6 year old very shy son Douglas and her 15 year old daughter Amanda who didn't like too much that I was around. It was winter down there and although I found the climate every pleasant, they all complained how miserable cold it was. We went out to diner in a Swiss Chalet restaurant and it was amazing that despite all the mosquitoes that were swarming around Johanna and Nana, not one single one landed on me. And I was wearing shorts. When we finally went home, we witnessed a silent ball lightning storm that was like a silent fireworks display lasting all evening, lighting up the sky for up to a half minute between the many silent strikes.
Nana had to get up at 5 in the morning to drive Douglas of to a private school. She drove me to where I was to be picked up by Peter Clark the project manager for the Botswana Police Microwave Network used to protect all the diamond mines all over. Peter introduced me to 2 worried looking police chiefs, Arnold and his boss. Arnold was responsible for the operation of the network and let me know how deeply concerned he was. Poor Peter was running around like a chicken with his head cut off going in all directions at the same time trying to calm the poor Arnold by saying things like "don't worry, it will be OK”
I started to feel very nervous myself by then and took the rest of the day to evaluate the situation and organize the work for the following day. Our Ascom UMUX equipment was connected to the Motorola equipment and they just connected the 2 without programming them. I organized that the Motorola engineers get involved for the next day. The police station that I was working in was near to Nana's sister's house where Johanna's nephew Daniel lived. Daniel was in university studying in the field of medical technology. I was very impressed by him. We met by chance near his home and he gave me a big hug. I asked him if he wasn't afraid of all the neighbors gossiping about us, he confidently and smilingly said, "I can handle it". Johanna was there with all her family. I invited them out for dinner but they preferred just to order Kentucky Fried Chicken. Of course I didn't argue.
On Tuesday 2 Motorola experts arrived. The older one was very nervous, the young guy impressed me. He was working full time during the day, and doing his MBA during the evenings. And on the weekends he was a volunteer street police on a special squad fighting the gangs in Johannesburg. He told me that the reason he went out with bulletproof vests and actually fired and was fired on was for civic duty, making contacts, and the excitement of it all. For luck he was a very clever man and we worked till near midnight and programmed all the equipment. One by one the red lights turned green and when all were green we went out to diner to celebrate. On the way, we met a drunk policemen that I assumed was off duty. I commented that he must have had a tough shift, and wished him an enjoyable evening. He replied that he still had one more hour to work before he was finished for the day.
Nana and Johanna were worried that I was alone outside so late and that I walked back to her house alone. She sternly warned me not to do it again. Johanna had to go back to Johannesburg to vote and I invited Nana and her 2 children out for dinner. Thursday morning I finished the work and decided to take the bus back to Johannesburg. Unfortunately the buses only go when they are packed FULL and that meant waiting in the parked bus for five hours. For a while the bus was almost full, but some people got tired of waiting and got off. Finally 5 hours later, the bus was FULL, The driver was in a great rush and drove at times over 140 kph. I was in the middle front row, and had a great view out of the front windshield. Sunset is my favorite time of day. The colors were magnificent, reds in the sky as well as the iron red of the mostly bare ground. The driver drove like he intimately knew every single detail on the road. Then it turned dark and there was a moonlight lighting the landscape. It was getting around midnight when I finally arrived in Johannesburg. A taxi man was waiting for me. Johanna had arranged him to pick me up because taxi drivers were starting to refuse to drive into Hillsboro, the neighborhood Johanna lived in, because of the increasing dangers of being robbed and killed by the roaming uncontrollable gangs.
The taxi driver got lost and we had to ask every corner for directions. I was amazed to see so many white prostitutes. I thought that I was the only white one around. Hillsboro in the times of apartheid was a "white only" neighborhood. When the whites moved out, the blacks moved in. There are broken windows and glass and garbage all over the streets. Every apartment block has a gate and a doorman locked inside a cage controlling who comes in and out. We circled the neighborhood from every direction until we found Johanna's apartment block. The doorman recognized me and let me in. By Saturday I was getting anxious to go home.
When I arrived back home, Mathew invited me to a volley ball exhibition and I was the only parent who came. Later on I found out from Christopher that the reason I was the only parent was that the parents were not invited.
1999
Christopher Mathias and Stefan bought themselves snowboards and we have started to go skiing every weekend now. I go with my cross-country skis and there are lots of ski resorts as close as 40 minutes away. We got a computer in the spring. I downloaded hours of classical music all for free. I find the Internet so fascinating. I was able to download many programs from the Internet and bought a few programs for Christopher for learning typing and French. I bought a multimedia encyclopedia to somehow get it more entertaining and enticing for Chris, but he lost interest. All he seems to do is surf or chat in the chat rooms.
Work
I had to move my office. My colleague and me got to share the corner office that the CEO used. It had a built in refrigerator, a sink and nicer than normal curtains. It had an adjacent room with its own exit reserved for the CEO's secretary that was used by a 3rd colleague in our department. I just finished unpacking when we were all called for a meeting to announce that our two 2 top managers had been just suddenly fired for having proposed a management buyout of our part of Ascom.
Our two top managers have made a great success in the past 8 or so years that they were in charge. The work environment became very trusting free and cooperative and dedicated and professional under their leadership. Many think that it was bound to happen sooner or later. The two, very progressive, creative and visionary contrasted with the monopolistic mentally of Ascom's upper management. We were 250 and had a turbulent 12 years. When I first started to work, the company was called Hasler AG, then Ascom Hasler AG, then Ascom Transmission AG, then Ascom Ericsson Transmission AG, then ATR. We became Keymile AG when Ascom sold us to a technology broker who fused us with our competitor in Austria.
Europe
Adam came over for the summer and we visited Spain, Italy and France. The trip was much different from that 2 years ago when we visited the eastern part of Europe. Christopher and Matias didn't fight as much but unfortunately they did not enjoy the wealth of culture that Adam and I relished in.
We spent the night in Marseilles and the next morning we found ourselves on the beautiful Spanish Mediterranean. We found a campground on the beach and stayed one week. The camp owner was very nice to us furnishing us with rope for the laundry and chairs and tables and even a beach umbrella. His family worked in the restaurant he ran on the premise. He even gave a party each Saturday night with dancing and live Spanish music. The town was very old and pleasant to walk through. The beach was very sandy and the waves very large at times. We took our rubber raft out and surfed it back on the waves.
We went to Barcelona a few times, but Christopher and Mathew preferred to stay on the beach. One evening Mathew got mad and ran away from us. We all searched frantically for him for what seemed like a long time. A kind lady saw him alone and took him to a nearby police. The police car drove him back to the campground was just leaving as we returned to the campground where we found him sobbing in the tent. The next day we got up early for a change and went to Barcelona to visit Picasso's Museum and the Cathedral designed by Gaudi called Sagrada Família. It is a massive 170m high privately-funded church that has been under construction since 1882 and is not expected to be complete until at least 2026.
The rest of the time we spent on the beach with the rubber raft. When we finally left one week later, the owner gave us a bottle of wine with the label of his proudly owned campground with the marble bathrooms like you would find in a 5 star hotel.
Our next stop was Rome. Looking for a campsite near Rome was a nightmare. We drove in seemingly never ending circles until it was near midnight when we finally got to it. It reminded me of the midnight search for Ellie's house a year ago. Getting in to Rome the next day was especially easy as I unexpectedly found myself a parking place near a subway station. The following excursions into Rome proved to be easier and easier. We concentrated on the Vatican and the old ruins. A restaurant had their menu posted on the door with the atrociously high prices. We did not see the menu and Adam went back with Chris the next day and got into a fight with the waiter about it.
Early next morning we arrived in Venice and had our swim on the Mediterranean beach once again. Venice was for me a big theme park. We had to leave our cars in a parking lot and take boats like you take buses in a big city. The huge size of Venice amazed me. Everything seemed crooked and leaning. The gondolas were very romantic, just like in the tourist brochures. On our last day, Christopher and Matias got too far away from Adam and me and we lost each other for a grueling hour that seemed to never end. We agreed that if we do lose each other, then they should not look for us but stay in one place where we could find them. It was getting dark and with the labyrinth of the streets and canals, we had no idea of retracing our steps to find them. It turned out that they were following us keeping enough distance to be out of our sight.
We arrived back in Switzerland late in the afternoon and Adam and I decided to do the raft trip that has been evading us so many times even though the weather was a bit threatening. Right in the middle of our raft trip we had to make an emergency landing due to a lightning storm that for luck subsided to let us finish our trip.
Praha
In December, I was suddenly sent to Praha, Czechoslovakia. I stayed with a family my friend Andrea's knew thru the church. They were in a very difficult financial situation, and were very happy to be able to offer me a bed and breakfast in their apartment. So instead of going to a hotel, I went to them, and instead of taking the taxi, I commuted with the locals.
I flew there early Saturday morning and arrived in time for lunch with the family I was to stay with during the week. I felt like Santa Clause when I arrived with all the gifts that Andreas and his family packed for them. They were lovely. They met me with their car and we got to know each other very fast. Unfortunately Wlaclauf and his 20-year-old son Christian could not speak too much English so we couldn't talk too much directly. Marie and her boy David spoke English very well and Marie was very talkative and asked many questions about life in Switzerland. In return, I asked many questions about how life was during the recent communist rule. She described that there were spies all over and that you never knew who was a spy because they had spies spying on spies. To make things more difficult, it was forbidden to have at home private church meetings.
It was shocking for me to see how sad and mad the people commuting to work were. They wouldn`t talk to each other on the subway, nor would they give up their seats to elderly with filled shopping bags or young mothers with babies in their arms.
Talking with her was very stimulating and educational. Many times I wished Adam were there with me especially when they were criticizing the past corrupt communist regime. They live in one of those communist people blocks that we had the opportunity to stay in 3 years ago in Bucharest. Wlaclauf is an artist and paints religious themes. He was like a little kid in amazement at the art museum. On Sunday we went to their church meeting in a type of disco restaurant they rent. We also went to one of the many concerts they have in the many cathedrals. They took me all over the old Praha city, thru the back alleyways. During the week, we planned to go out to what Marie thought was an opera recital that ended up being a jazz recital in a small hidden basement jazz cafe. Marie was apologetic for the "mistake" as the artist had the same name as the opera singer she was expecting. The musicians were very good and in the end we were all glad of the mistake. When we were saying our good byes, Maria prayed for me that I would find a partner, and they packed me up with gifts for Andreas and his family and for Christopher and me and I had the opportunity to play Santa clause again.
2000
Marianne
I had given up hopes that life with Johanna would work out. Chris was not too keen on her coming over to Switzerland to live with us and threatened to move out if she ever moved in. I met Marianne thru the Internet. Marianne had an ad in one of the date finder services that I used. She saw my profile and my homepage describing me in detail. She was especially attracted to the fact that I was from Canada because she had inherited from her Dutch boyfriend a summer house in the Laurentians in Quebec.
She went there to look at it and eventually sold it. She lived a 90 minutes drive from me in Luzern. She spoke English, and she was not a Swiss girl. She arrived in Switzerland 18 years ago as a newly graduated Dutch physiotherapist. She was unable to find work in Holland. She set up her own private physiotherapy practice in Luzern 5 years ago with her Dutch friend Diana. I introduced myself with my Homepage that I had made. She agreed to meet me and invited me for a picnic at a village half way between the 90 minute drive that separated us. So here was another opportunity and I was so excited. The time seemed to slow to a crawl.
When the day to meet Marianne finally arrived, the weather turned to freezing drizzle rain. We arraigned to meet in the town situated half way. It was also the highest point between us. The roads turned to ice and I had to literally slide up spinning my wheels to reach our meeting point, the train station parking lot. Marianne had been already waiting a few minutes in her car. We decided to get out of the drizzle and walked up to the nearby cathedral. From the car it doesn't look so big and I was amazed to find such a huge monumental cathedral in the back parts of Switzerland. When we finally left its grand interior, the weather subsided and we went for a walk. During our walk the sun eventually came out and we had a beautiful picnic. We talked and laughed and held hands and kissed and hugged and I fondled her breasts and thought I was dreaming. We decided to have something warm to drink and walked back to town and talked and held hands in the restaurant to decide what to do for the rest of the day.
I suggested to go back to her place and to continue the fantasy. She agreed and we spent the rest of the evening hugging in bed half-naked, because she claimed that she never makes “love on the first night”. As I had to work the next day and could not stay another night, I thought that I can surely wait a week. Seeing her in her sexy lacy underpants and lacy bra and hugging and kissing made it all worthwhile. it was close to midnight when we finished rolling on her bed. We were hungry and we went to a nearby McDonald's and then I drove home. I invited her back the next week end for the entire week end. She accepted and I suddenly felt myself falling in love.
I felt like I was repeatedly dreaming and feeling the ecstasy at realizing that it was all real. I felt hollow and constant butterflies all over. My knees were wobbling and I couldn't believe in my luck. I repeatedly thanked my angels for having sent her to me. She was constantly on my mind. She wanted to see me again and moreover she was intelligent and sexy and very rational and gentle. My main concern was that I would scare her away by my falling in love with her so fast.
Marianne had a Feldenkrais workshop nearby where I live and invited me out for a dinner afterward. The Feldenkrais Method is a system of physical exercise that aims to improve human functioning by increasing self-awareness through movement. Mathew was with me and I was so anxious to have them meet each so I took him with me without informing her. It was quite a funny scene meeting Marianne in the parking lot. I unfortunately started a game of "can you spot Andrew's nice new friend" game with Mathew as I was entering the parking lot. And there she was in my car spotlight, painted up and smiling at me with her long legs exaggerated by her leather miniskirt glimmering in the wet night under the lamppost. And all this in winter with snow around. She invited us for a big meal and thanks to the especially slow service, we spent a long time talking and laughing. Mathew and Marianne got along great and I felt like the happiest man in the world. We had such a great time that we decided to repeat it all the following weekend.
We agreed to meet on Sunday with all the kids at a ski slope near where I live and I invited her for an après-ski dinner in my place. When I finally arrived at the ski hill with the car full of kids, the weather suddenly turned so stormy that they had to shut down the lifts due to high winds and we had to immediately leave the area. A few hours later when we were back home, Marianne arrived with a christmas tree and all the decorations for it. She told us of how she was stuck half way up a steep slope with the winds blowing too strong to be able to ski down. She was one of the ones that were rescued by special snowmobiles. Mathew and me joined Marianne to see the fireworks over the Luzern Lake in celebration of the New Millennium 2000. Mathew ended up impressing everyone and I was so proud of him. We finally went skiing and cross country skiing and soon she started to stay over Saturday nights.
By March we developed a steady stable pattern of visiting each other each weekend. We mostly alternated between me going to Marianne Friday night direct from work and going back home early Sunday morning to be with the kids. And the next week Marianne would come to me Saturday afternoon and leave early Sunday afternoon to be able to do some office work. The expectation of each weekend approaching was increasingly pleasant. And when it finally arrived it was like a dream come true. And the precious time we spent together was always wonderful. I slowly got to meet more of her friends and felt a special close bond with her when she introduced me to her godchild. As it got warmer, we started to go bicycling. We started to jog and we started to do Feldenkreis exercises and long nature walks. One night we went for a walk on a full moon lit night to the head of Belp Berg. The full moon spotlighted us alone as if we were on stage casting dark shadows on the white grass that was glowing with a cover of snow.
In April, we went for a 4-day camping holiday in Venice. We drove the 5-hour drive during the night to avoid the Easter traffic jams and arrived just at the break of day. We stretched out on the beach for a few hours nap, until the sun woke us up. We found a nice camp ground close to Venice and a local bus going there. It was all wonderful to get lost in all the labyrinth of Venice. We ended up at the most remote parts of Venice, such as the cemetery filled with identical plastic flowers. Then we went to a concert where I was so impressed by this violin player who played so beautifully and with so much passion. I remember seeing huge magnificent cats in the window looking at the pigeons close by.
I had a very special and beautiful tent. It opened up like an umbrella and took seconds to set up. From the inside, it looked like you were right bellow the dome of a cathedral. Marianne spoke excellent English and we had long chats into the night. Marianne had camping accessories that made our camping very comfortable. She had camping chairs and cooking equipment so that we enjoyed having a cup of coffee whenever we liked. On our way back we made a beautiful hike in the Italian part of Switzerland. It was all magically wonderful.
By May, my neighbors started to congratulate me on my new girlfriend and tell me that they can see a big difference in me, and that they are very happy for me. Andreas and his family met her and he was so impressed by her and so happy for me. Marianne invited me to her family annual reunion. They rented a house in Belgium and I met them all for 4 days. They accepted me right away and I felt wonderful with her wonderful family. We went either bicycling or hiking every weekend.
Susanne
My divorce situation worsened and I was forced to find a cheaper apartment. Marianne helped me write the ads and even put them up on the community bulletin boards with me. We went hiking in Teccin following the old road that was used for centuries connecting Italy with Switzerland which is now a walking trail. It went thru all the small villages that the main modern road bypassed. Between the villages were lush forests and quaint old churches.
Susanne convinced the judge that I would have to move to a cheaper apartment so that she can have more alimony. Looking for a suitable apartment was very difficult. I was beginning to lose hope of finding one close to where Christopher would be doing his 3-year apprenticeship to be a cook. Quiet suddenly and unexpectedly I found a nice apartment right across the street from Christopher's restaurant and I felt the presence of my angels once more. It had a 100 year old sequoia tree near the sun facing balcony.
I had a 9 day holiday with Marianne and her parents in their home in Holland. Her parents were very nice and accepting and they made me feel right at home. It was interesting to see all of her old dolls which she played with as a child. Being in the house that she grew up in made me feel close to her.
In August, we had to move to our new apartment. I moved all day and all night. It was the first day of August and Switzerland was celebrating its national birthday. There was a spectacular fireworks and I saw the display as I was driving back and forth loading and unloading my car with all that we had. On one of the trips, I saw a motorcyclist coming down the road towards me and passing me riding on his back wheel, as the sky filled with spectacular fireworks.
We bought a kitten named Napoleon who had never been outside. We were warned not to let him outside for a week in case he tried to find his way back. Our apartment was on the ground floor and it was heartbreaking to see Napoleon looking outside the balcony window at all the birds. We finally decided to let him outside on his second day with us and he ended up bringing back a huge bird. He turned out to be a very special cat. He let the other cats in the neighborhood eat out of his bowl before he would eat out of it himself. When he saw that Christopher or I were asleep, he waited patiently until we showed that we were awake before meowing. Like a dog, Napoleon crossed the busy street to go to the restaurant where Christopher worked at the right time each day to wait for Christopher and to get some delicious leftovers that was always waiting for him.
Europe
In the summer of 2000, Adam arrived just as we moved into our new apartment. When I picked him up at the airport, he was gleaming and smiling and so happy like a kid. He told me that he had been drinking on his flight and he was feeling it. He had a nice interesting long stay over in London. We had lunch at Marianne's and she graciously offered Adam her entire collection of strange wines, and liqueurs. Adam and Marianne took to each other really nicely from the start and we had a nice talk.
We managed to do our regular raft trip down the Aare, the fastest river in Europe. We did a lot of walking and talking, Christopher had just started his cooking apprenticeship program and he was very busy at that time. I had Adam during the day, and Christopher had him into the morning.
Adam got food poisoning in the first week and I had to take him to the hospital. All the pills that he was taking amazed the doctors. About 6 of them huddled around a table and piled all his pill bottles into high towers with the big ones on the bottom and the little ones on top. They were trying to find all of these drugs in their books. In the end they had to consult with Adam about the ones they could not find in their books. They made some blood tests and confirmed that he was suffering from food poisoning. By the time we got home he got better.
A few days later Marianne came for the weekend and Adam was well enough for a nice dinner at the Ballenberg village museum that we took my mother to many years ago. One day Adam was still in his pajamas which looked more like a suit from Pakistan. We took the train and spent the entire day in Thun. It was only when it was time to go to bed that I realized that Adam was in his pajamas the entire day.
London
We decided to go to London for 5 days. We drove to Dieppe and visited the graves of the Canadian soldiers who fought and died in vain in 1942. It was an exercise by the allied forces to see how one can take a harbor without destroying it. It was in preparation for the decisive invasion at Normandy 2 years later. We went to the cemetery and saw the 1000 graves. Many were so brutally killed that they could not be identified. We also saw the memorial commemorating the Canadian soldiers that liberated Dieppe 2 years after at the same place so many of them died. The soldiers had the impossible mission of defeating and overtaking a 30m high lime cliff hugging the beach. They were machine gunned and bombed from the top. A few managed to reach the top just to be massacred. Despite the nightmarish feeling of it all, and thanks to Adam's well stocked pharmacy, I was able to get a really peaceful sleep in the car overlooking the beach and cliffs, where so many died.
I had to vomit on the ferryboat to Brighton and started to get the hiccups that went on and off for the next couple of days. Adam was feeling really good and was ready to have a night out in London, but unfortunately I was too tired to go, so we walked a bit around Brighton and slept in the car on the beach and Adam doctored me all better. We took the train to London and walked around and saw the sights that London is known for. Adam made a very loud and somewhat long dissertation in Hyde Park. Unfortunately the audience was rather small. It was late in the day and as it was Wednesday, and not Sunday, so only a few joggers and clean up personnel stopped by to listen. Then we went back to the beach where our car was and thanks to Adam`s well-stocked pharmacy we had another peaceful sleep in the car.
Adam got serious the following one-day and we had a relatively early start looking for those papers that he promised to try and get for his make believe Professor Goygochea, who I ended up playing. I felt like an absent-minded professor helping the very scholarly Adam. He really knows his way around libraries. I don't remember doing anything else other than wandering around London. When I asked Adam what we did that day, he took a pen and wrote “...Percocet, Tylenol III, Gravol, Ativan, Imovine, Oxycodon, and Vodka”. We eventually caught the ferry back to France and drove all day until I could drive no more and ended up sleeping the night at one of the rest stops.
Swaziland
The training course for the Swaziland Telecom that I was supposed to give the week before summer vacations finally materialized. The timing was just right as Marianne was away with Diana in Tunisia to celebrate their 5th year together in their practice. It was Sunday early morning, and I was in Johannesburg waiting for Solomon, the local UMUX representative to pick me up.
We drove straight from the airport to Swaziland. On the way, Solomon told me that his parents were from there and that he was looking forward to the possibly of finding some relatives there. The 2-hour drive ended up over 4 hours. Solomon told me that he is a preacher and he told me a bit of the history of Swaziland and how when the Boars came, they left monarchies alone, and that a Swazi tribe broke away from the Zulus and moved up to the hills where they are presently located. When we finally crossed the overly controlled borders the roads suddenly aged 20 years and the mobile phone stopped roaming. Swaziland is about a third the size of Switzerland and the earth is a beautiful red and yellow color of all tints. With purple flowering trees and the billowing white clouds all the colors were there. It was Sunday and the people were dressed up in their Sunday dress. The men had their tribal hats and the women were dressed like maids from a movie. Solomon suggested we eat at KFC, my favorite restaurant, and I heartily agreed.
The next morning we went to look at the training facilities and the installation for the UMUX training just to find that the UMUX training had already started and all participants were already participating. Despite distancing myself as much as possible from the confusion, it did not take long to realize that Solomon's former coworker who decided a few years ago to form his own company had his own interest to capture the customers and contacts of his former company. He aggressively stepped in. Ascom likes the local UMUX representatives to be aggressive and does not get involved. The aggressive renegade convinced the Swaziland PTT that he was now the only UMUX representative. I was happy to see him give the course and stayed on as a visitor from the head office. When I asked about specifics of their network, one of them admitted that most of the customer complaints were because of incorrect configured UMUXs which I quickly turned into a need for more courses.
I walked around in the evenings. Especially nice was the walk up the steep hills where the roads gradually turn into trails and paths, and the houses get gradually poorer, the higher they are. The school children all have uniforms. I found the people much more reserved and did not attract the attention that I did in Botswana. I was actually starting to miss that attention and at time felt almost invisible, especially when ignored repeatedly. One evening the electricity in the town went out just as I was returning from a walk. Fortunately I managed to buy some candles, so it ended up to be kind of nice. I stopped going to KFC and found some really tasty local fast food places. The training went well and by Friday, everyone including me wanted to go home a bit early, so we did.
We drove back to Johannesburg thru the thickest storm I have ever seen. It was like driving thru a black curtain of dark water. We could see it up ahead of us in the sunlight, and when we finally hit it and drove thru we found ourselves suddenly in a dark storm. There were so many different kinds of lightning that even Solomon was impressed. He drove me to an especially elegant motel near Johannesburg. The tourist complex next door was vast with 3 stories of theaters, bars, restaurants, and entertainment places open past midnight. On Saturday, Renate, a German foreign aid worker promoting business around the Soweto area invited me. I met her at the airport on my last visit, and she promised to show me around Soweto the next time I came. She really kept her promise. She took me to a restaurant and introduced me to the owner, her friend Distella. The food was delicious and Distella even brought out her home brew and shared it with us in the customary way by passing it around in the round wooden bowl. On Sunday, my last day, I went back to Soweto to try and find Solomon's church. I hired a taxi driver and drove around Soweto, the poor parts that Renate avoided, but after having found about 5 wrong churches, I gave up.
Budapest
I was sent to Budapest, and Marianne saw me off to the airport. Monday was a bit stressful, and I had to work late in the evening, and had a lot of problems that had to be solved the next day. The people I worked with were very nice and I already met them on my last visit 2 years ago. I finished my work on time and went to see Erszy and Tibor in the evening. Réka had her second child already and Fanni the 14 year old looked like an adult already. The first thing that Erszy said to me when she saw me was that I looked like a totally changed man, and that I looked like I was in love. Tibor was back in a theater group and we watched a video of one of his performances. It was like a circus with a lot of circus type music.
I felt very good until I got back to the hotel. I must have drunk too much, because the moment I lay down I got so nauseous that I was only able to get to the white marbled bathroom before I violently had to throw up all of the wine samples that they kept offering me from their special homemade wine collection. If I would have had half a second more I could have reached the toilet, but instead I sprayed a spray of vomit that covered the bathroom like a work of art, very colorful and symmetrical over a pure white background, with all corners and towels very evenly sprayed.
On the last day I had a meeting and we finished in the morning, and I visited my cousin Andreas and Zoltan in the afternoon. They both look really happy and healthy. Her face was wrinkle free and healthy looking. Zoltan just had his 80th birthday and Andreas her 71st. Zoltan's family nearby organized a big party for them to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.
Zagreb
I had to go to Zagreb on business and the man who invited me was unforgettably theatrical. He picked me up and drove me to my hotel. On the way he took a couple of calls while he was driving, and made a few as well steering with his knees while he was looking for the number to dial. He took me out to a very fancy restaurant. He was trying to impress me and ordered a very expensive wine which he sent back after performing the entire ceremony from eating the piece of bread first and gurgling the wine a few times and looking at its color and how it clings to the glass. He kept us all in suspense before rejecting it to all our surprised disappointment. He ordered fish and they brought out this tray of fresh assortment of wide-eyed gazing fish and they discussed each and every one. I could not understand it all but it seemed like he either could not decide on which ones he wanted or explained how each one should be cooked. The work went well over the 2 days and I had some time to walk around Zagreb, rightly also known as "little Vienna".
Marianne invited me to the wedding of her brother Rut and Hester. The wedding was very nice and I really felt part of the family. Rut is a civil engineer working in Belgium, and he has been living with Hester for the past 8 years. Hester is a teacher. They have decided to have a child and get married. We drove 8 hours and arrived to find our accommodation while it was still light. It was a 200 year old stable converted into a modern bedroom up in the hay stable with a modern bathroom below. There were sheep all around with one goose in the middle and a big white horse with a small black one that made the atmosphere very rustic.
We met everyone briefly at Hester's and Rut's house. Then I helped Marianne's brother Otto to usher in the guests to the courthouse. There the mayor, dressed in his formal uniform, took the role of the minister and blessed their marriage. He proudly cited statistics showing that his court had the best record for successful long lasting marriages. Marianne was a witness and the kids were sitting on the window stills of the crowded courtroom. I gave out rice and everyone threw it at Hester and Rut. Then we went back and had the party. There were about 40 people with about 10 children. Most of Rut's and Hester's friends had children already and all the children made it all an especially joyful atmosphere. The musicians consisting of a passionately playing violinist accompanied by accordion and guitar. Then the family and friends presented skits on the life of Rut and Hester that I could not understand. I was invited to partake in a funny skit that Marianne prepared using a song with adapted words highlighting Hester's and Rut's past 8 years together.
The food was really good and I was able to talk with many people in German. The music was really nice and the highlight of the trip was that I danced with Marianne for the first time. They ceremoniously ended the party by releasing 50 balloons with sparklers hanging into the night sky giving the effect of fireworks. The next morning we all had breakfast and most guests went for a nice long walk before going back home.
In March 2001, I had a very wonderful week with my Libyan course participants. They were a very nice mixture of men ranging from young to old, single and married and coming from all over Libya. They were all very interested about Switzerland wanting to know everything from salaries, to when and what we eat, when we go to bed and get up, and everything in between. I was as curious about Libya as they were of Switzerland, and they answered all my many questions very honestly and openly. They were so friendly and humorous that we immediately formed a very special kind of friendship.
Most took prayer breaks, and washed their feet before eating. Only the young UMUX representative was ready to eat meat that was not bled and blessed properly. And none drank alcohol. Some were very worried about the sauces in the meals being cooked with wine and I had to have the kitchen head confirm that there was no trace of alcohol in the food. Despite all precautions, one poor guy on his very first coffee break bit into a chocolate ball filled with schnapps and had to ask me in his poor English with a full mouth where the bathroom was so that he could spit it all out. The clown in the group, the only fat one wanted to marry a Swiss lady and I quickly offered Susanne, but he wisely refused. He was constantly making jokes and making the people laugh. Most was in Arabic that I could not understand. He was one of the funniest guys I have ever met. As they preferred to work in the evening and have the afternoon free like they are accustomed to, we made the training in the evening, and had the building all to ourselves. They were so enthusiastic and so eager to learn, that on Friday, the last day, we stayed till past midnight. The canteen was closed and we ordered some pizza and had a great farewell party. They asked me if I could bring them to the second hand shop I told them about to buy gifts for everyone back home. I took them to a Red Cross second hand store next to a cemetery. We left with bags full of stuff bought. As we were passing the cemetery, the funny fat guy thanked all of the dead people for the stuff as if the second hand things in the store belonged to the people who were buried in the cemetery.
Break up
The financial situation concerning my divorce proceedings finally finalized leaving me in a very difficult situation with long-term consequences affecting the rest of my life. Susanne was able to win her case. She got her private Dr. to get her on disability, and got the courts to make me pay her disability payments. She was able to separate child support payments that I pay for Mathew from support payments that I have to pay to her. So I was sentenced to support her for life. As I lost my appeals to try to force her to seek disability payments from the state insurance, I was forced into playing the role of a welfare agency as long as the state felt that I was able to play that role.
This all forced Marianne and me to talk about where we stand with each other especially concerning our long-term relationship. Marianne started by how she was fixed on me and as a result her friends are feeling it as well as she has no time anymore to spend the time with them as she rather spends it with me. When I pressed on to the long-term issues that were so vital for me, she had to admit that she understands my hopeless situation and does not see any long-term solutions. She does not see any way of starting a partnership with me as my situation was so hopeless. Nor does she at this time of her life even want a partner.
She admitted that my financial situation was not the only reason for her not seeing any long term hope with me. Her lack of confidence in me was the main example. The other example was that even if she would want to have children, she would not choose me for that role. I was devastated. I felt like a lonely single mother, the kind I rejected many times myself for any long term commitments. Marianne's description of it was that she was a tourist on a tour boat, and I was the captain of a sinking ship that she visited for short term adventure. With those points of view, things became easier to understand.
Break down
The financial aspects of the divorce hearings were finalizing, and the next step was to be the divorce hearings. I was convinced that if the court saw that I was coping with the situation, they would keep the status quo. I was also convinced that I had to force Susanne off my back and on to the appropriate invalidity insurance if I was ever to regain freedom to get on with my life. I assumed that once she was getting disability payments from the state, it would be too much an effort for her to go thru the court again to try to get the disability payments from me. I found a psychologist, a Dr. Steiner of all names. It is not only Susanne's family name, but also translates into „Stoner“. He wrote a letter to the courts stating that I was in immediate danger of being hospitalized from this crisis and that my deteriorating condition was directly tied to the divorce proceeding outcome. To put some weight to the threats of me ending up sick, I decided to get myself hospitalized before the upcoming divorce hearings. I talked it over with my boss to arrange a time that would be least disruptive. He was very understanding and we agreed on the second week in April.
How do I present myself in the hospital? And with what reasons??. How do I react there??? What if they want to keep me longer???? I felt that I needed a dress rehearsal and decided that I would try to check in on Friday right after the UMUX course all dressed up in my suit and tie. When the lady Dr asked me why I came to the clinic, I recited my situation that I have done so many times now. I added that I felt for the first time in my ever-worsening situation that I would loose control and kill myself, something that a part of me wants to do and another part does not. They told me that I do not need to worry about being turned away and not taken seriously. And that I would always be accepted if I felt that I needed to be admitted.
Having visions of scenes from "One Flew Over the CooCoo’s Nest", I asked about the going home procedures. They told me that whenever I felt that I was ready to go home that I could talk with the Dr. on duty, and if he agreed, then I could go home. The average stay was anything from 3 to 4 days to 2 to 4 weeks. Then she made me promise with a physical hand shake that I would not try to kill myself while under their care and that I would not go out for a walk without asking first. And that I would always come back when the feelings of suicide got too strong. I shook her hand, and then she introduced me to the nurse on duty and made me go thru the handshaking agreement ceremony promising not to kill myself one more time.
The nurse showed me my room and around the facilities apologizing that they were actually full and I would have to use the overflow room that I would have to share should others happen to arrive. It was a big room with 2 beds and a couch and table that looked like a hotel room with a wall to wall window. She took me around the facilities and introduced me to everyone. It all looked more like a first class Youth Hostel than a psychiatric clinic. There were 10 attractive young girls sitting around some in their house coats smoking and chatting and listening to music. There was one young man with the girls and one young obviously troubled man who spent most time by himself. Besides the TV / VCR, billiards, and ping pong, (no dart board though) there was an art handwork room fully equipped for painting, drawing or sculpting. They had a piano, a guitar and an exotic percussion instrument for making music. They had a nice collection of books, but fortunately none in English. They had a big CD collection of music.
At first it was difficult to tell the nurses apart from the patients, as the nurses did not wear a uniform. They were mostly friendly and in a good mood. They were laughing chatting and trying to pick up the ones that were momentarily down. Most of the young girls either had bandaged wrists or fresh healing cuts on their wrists. Katrina had me fooled for a while as she told me that she was working there. She was emptying the ashtrays and putting dishes in the dishwasher. But she was looking so troubled and far away that I was convinced that she must be a patient. Later on I found out that she was a patient who used to be a nurse.
Sylvia was mostly very friendly and sociable but occasionally slipped into intervals of sadness where she would just go to her room. Monica was always smiling and chatting, and broke down in tears once and was immediately comforted by the others. In the end it turned out that those tears were actually of happiness as her father just called. Tiger was a very friendly pretty girl with platinum colored hair. A platinum ring under her upper lips would slip into view whenever she smiled, highlighting her beautiful white teeth. She had a similar ring on her belly button and a tattoo of a dragon on her shoulder, and Chinese characters on her thighs that she was very proud of. Jenny was the counter part of Tiger, and she was flowing with energy, and filling everyone with it. From her Japanese mother and Swiss father, she inherited the best of both races. Her problem was fitting in between the two cultures that tore her apart. She felt rejected by the Swiss and went to Japan for a year and half, and felt rejected by the Japanese even more.
A lot of the staff didn't talk English but many of the patients wanted to practice their English with me. I could not sleep the first night despite the pills and herb teas they gave me every 2 hours. We each made our own breakfast on Saturday morning and the fridge was well stocked. Then everyone left for the day with relatives or friends, and I was left alone with the nurses. I entertained myself playing the guitar they had in the recreation room and playing billiards. They had a laundry room and the nurse gave me some comfortable light jogging pants and sweatshirt and I was able to use the laundry facilities to wash my clothes. It was beautiful spring weather.
I was able to play my flute in the sound proof handwork room very loud for a change, so I played a lot and very loud. And I read my books. I was alone most of the weekend as most of the patients were away during the day with friends and relatives. Most the time was spent wondering when I was going to get an SMS message from Marianne. And when I called I uncomfortably felt she did not really want to talk. Needing to talk with an adult, I called Ellie. But her "If only you would have listened to me you would not be in the mess now" repeated too many times just got me more depressed. Monday morning I met my Dr. For luck her English was very fluent and she agreed to talk in English. I re-explained my situation and she suggested I stay 2 to 3 weeks. She talked with my lawyer and I was allowed to work 3 days during my stay to be able to carry out an UMUX course.
Sundays were very nice. On one Sunday, Jenny organized an art workshop out in the cemetery. Jenny said that I looked like an art teacher taking students out for an afternoon of drawing. The rest of the time we just talked of our feelings and thoughts and told each other comforting words. The time seemed to last and last. Sometimes there would be silence for minutes at a time where it was evident that everyone was troubled, but everyone felt a comradeship of understanding, and caring for each other. The nurses did the medication dispensing, and told us when it was time to eat. They kept mostly to themselves in the office. The Monday to Friday programs of music, dance, art, and discussion therapies offered were so great that I did not want to leave.
The first week was short as it was the long Easter weekend, and I took the occasion to go home a few hours to see that Christopher was doing well. I got my pillow and some clothes and personal things I was starting to miss. I bought the Conversations with God Books and they really raised my spirits. I wanted to see how Mathew was taking all of this and invited him to the movie "Giving it forward". He seemed to be taking all this so well. When I described the clinic to Christopher with all of its music, movement, and handwork therapies, he said it sounded like a kindergarten.
The patients were very nice. Samia, an 18 month beautiful girl from Libya and her mother gave the place a homey atmosphere. Samia's baby talk sounded Arabic, but the mother sadly admitted that the only word she understood from Samia's chattering was "Mamma". Samia was constantly babbling with everyone. And her mother was always holding her back. When there was no one to chat with her, Samia would take one of the TV remote controls, and pretend that its a mobile phone and chat with herself. Bulah, the 55 year old Indian widow with all of her teeth still white without any cavities reminded me of my Mother, always trying to smile, and always pleasant and caring. And making fun of her plate full of her pill cocktail that she took like an aperitif with each meal.
When Bob Clarke, 41 introduced himself I was amazed to hear that he, like me, was brought up and raised in Montreal. He as well went west to Alberta and ended up in Switzerland by marrying and starting a family with a Swiss lady. Like me, he was facing a losing battle trying to keep his family. We were able to laugh at our problems and had a great time being a bit crazy. We opened each other up to a point where I was able to do things that I would not be able to normally do. Like during our movement therapies, pretending to be elephants walking in a line with our hands pretending to be elephant trunks. To my surprise I was able to jokingly offer the girl behind me having a bit of difficulty in keeping up to hold my tail.
During the second week, I started my 3 day UMUX course and was able to leave to go to work during the day. The clinic, all 10 of us with the 10 staff moved to a magnificent old building with single rooms with windows 4 meters high overlooking Bern that could be fully opened. It's as if the magnificent Youth Hostel suddenly changed into a Castle retreat. I was getting to really enjoy living there. I felt like I was giving my course in a faraway land, except that I could wish myself home for a few hours in the evening before going back to the hotel for the night. So I was able to keep Christopher on his toes and play some tennis against the wall at the train station.
The 3 day UMUX course went well and I enjoyed it greatly. They were a group of Lybians who came mainly for a chance to visit Switzerland. They were administrators who would never have to handle the UMUX directly. They had to supervise engineers who were scheduled to take a 2 week course in a few months. The salesman was not available to invite the course participants out, so I agreed to meet the participants in Luzern to show them the city and invite them out for a diner. Marianne agreed to join us and I spent some time with her alone. She told me that she did not expect to see me, and I felt like I was fanning a dying flame she didn't want to fan.
One day I went back home on the way back to the clinic and Mathew called me to tell me he was on his way over to see me. I was really touched and we had a great time. We played the Game of Life a game I made a few years ago to play with the kids. To my amazement my game of life events followed my real life. I got married a second time and got a second child, a house, landed in the hospital for the first time, lost all my money, and ended up divorced all in one round.
Canada
This year's summer vacation highlighted for me how low I had managed to fall so fast and so deep in my life. Six months ago, Marianne planned to join me in Canada for one or two weeks. She wanted to meet my family and to get to know them. I was looking forward to show her off to my family. I was so sure that it would comfort my sister Ellie who was so emotionally worn down by all of my problems. Marianne decided not to join me in Canada. I felt like I was going to Canada just for a beating and I was afraid of not being able to defend myself. Marianne suggested that I sign up for one of those vacation programs where you volunteer to clean forest for cheap food and lodging.
We had not seen each other for 3 very difficult and long years and Ellie was just as concerned about my weight losses as I was about her weight gain. Shah drove us around Niagara Falls and the nearby gardens the first few days and we enjoyed the pool in the back yard. Chris and I missed having Mathew around, and as a result we never ended up going bowling and we never played golf and we never went to McDonald's. We went for many hikes and it was nice to see Shah and Ellie hold hands for the first time. Shah belongs to a hiking club and leads hikes for the club members. Ellie seldom hikes but agreed to come along. The first day Ellie went in her plastic sandals. Unfortunately no one noticed until it was too late. The following day, with proper foot gear, she still had problems navigate over any rocks that were higher than 1 meter.
We went to a big amusement park having the world's highest roller coaster with David, Tara, and their friends. We had to wait 2 hours for the 1-minute ride. It was a record hot day of 35 C and we were waiting like cattle without any shade. As we were getting closer to the entrance, a man with a hose sprayed us down with a garden hose like we were cattle.
UMUX course
It was very hot when the group of 12 Lybian engineers arrived for their 2 week UMUX course. They were very nice and friendly, but at the same time very demanding. The small room designed for 8 was on street level and the windows facing out on the street could not be fully opened and could only be tilted open due to security regulations. I tried to joke it off by telling them we want to make them feel at home. Eventually I had to gather up fans from the few colleagues who had their own in their offices and were willing to sacrifice.
One of the course members asked to see a doctor because of a headache he had since he arrived. The Libyan group was not a direct Ascom customer and nobody wanted to take any responsibility for them. When one guy asked to see a Doctor because he had a headache. Soon a second demanded to see the doctor for a skin rash and a 3rd for a toothache. I found out that Ascom had a doctor assigned for emergency cases. The rash warranted a free visit and the young guy with the rash was happy to have the opportunity to have a Swiss doctor look at his rash and prescribe some Swiss quality medicine. They do not seem to trust their own doctors very much.
They had heard from their bosses who attended a 3 day course a few months before how beautiful Switzerland was. They asked if there was a program arranged for them on the weekend, like the last group had. The sales man agreed to arrange something. He came back with the good news that he had arranged a day tour of Switzerland for Saturday. He spent a good deal of time describing the tour including erasing some of my material from the blackboard to draw it all out. Then as he finished, he told the group that Ascom would pay only the train tickets, and that they would have to go alone and pay for their own meal. They were shocked to hear that and so was I. They found it an insult that they would have to go alone. I found that an insult as well and volunteered to go with them.
The weather was nice and they really enjoyed the train ride, and seeing a bit of Switzerland, and goggling at all the scantily dressed Swiss girls. When I handed out the diplomas, they all took a picture of me shaking their hand and giving them their diploma. They gave me a teapot and were exceptionally nice wishing my son well and telling me that they will always remember me. One guy, as a joke asked me if his new glasses are covered by Ascom. When I asked the details, he told me that the Libyan glasses were very poor quality and gave him headaches. So he bought a pair in Switzerland for 800 SFr. Another was happy that his Rolex watch got repaired finally. He told me that it only costs 175 SFr to repair. When I asked him what was repaired, he told me it was just the bracelet that was broken.
Venice
In October, I invited Marianne to go to Venice for a 4 day weekend. We drove down on Saturday, arriving in time to set up our tent and use our cooking gear while it was still light. We camped in the same spot as we did 2 springs ago. We set up the tent in the same place as last time. The airport runway right next to our tent was just as busy and noisy as we remembered it. Marianne had some very strong port wine and we had a great evening . We talked about survival and what it would be like if it ever came to that. We were all alone in the camp ground and we put on some Latin music and danced on the wet grass.
Next morning we were pleasantly woken up by the crows of a rooster. We had to wade thru thick slimy slugs clinging on the overgrown wet grass to get to the bathrooms. We took the bus to Venice after a nice breakfast beside our tent. We quickly lost ourselves in the hazy dreamy atmosphere where time seemed to have stopped. We saw the islands known for their glass production that we missed last time. We went out for dinner and as the kitchen was not serving yet, we were able to sit and read our books and enjoy the scenery with some Italian wine. Some young locals sitting close by were also enjoying wine, and they had a guitar, a wooden flute and a tambourine, and experimented with their voices. They were very good and entertaining.
We returned to Venice for our last day after a big brunch at the campground. We went to the shops and looked at the special jewelry made from the famous Venetian glass. One shop keeper told us how they had a cold summer with not too many tourists and since the 9/11 attacks on NY, there were no American tourists. We visited a soap factory where they make soap that resembles cheese, chocolates, and pastries. Made with chunks of herbs, they smelled very strong and looked very odd. We decided to go back to the campground early and have a nice dinner by our tent. We were able to read with our lantern and it was very comfortable and homelike, except for when Marianne got bit by 2 spiders.
Saudi Arabia
In 2002, I got to visit Saudi Arabia. It was a very interesting and enriching experience, especially in the light of the current state of events and the increasing mistrust developing against Muslims. The trip was characterized by a series of unexpected moments occurring just at the right times. It all felt magical. It started with me meeting my neighbor whom I rarely encounter leaving our apartments at the same time in the morning. We ended up taking the train together for the first time. I met Mathew on the train going to school also for the first time and was able to properly say goodbye. For the first time the train was late and I missed the connecting flight to the airport. And for the first time I went by another route thru Thun, and was able to check my bags and get my boarding flight in Thun train station while I waited for the train to Zurich. I got off the train at the airport just in time to get some Saudi money, and get on the plane with no waiting time. I felt like it was all timed just right.
6 hours later, I landed in Riyadh to find very long and very slow moving lines. There was a line for "businessmen first-time with visa" and a line for "first class first-time with visa" as well as for "re-entry with visa". There was also a very short line for “Diplomats and air crew“. After 2 hours of waiting in line, a security man came up to me and asked if I was Andrew Vecsey. He asked me to come with him and took me to the diplomat's gate where I was quickly let thru. I was taken to an office where they were interrogating another man with a Canadian Passport. They took my passport to compare it with the poor man`s passport to show him that his passport was falsified. I got my bags and found myself surrounded by pushy taxi drivers. So I picked out the least annoying and aggressive looking one to drive me to my hotel.
I knew from past experience that Arabs were very friendly and touchy. Friends greet each other by hugging and kissing on the cheeks. To highlight importance to what they say, they hold on to your hand and look you in the eyes. The driver was very very friendly and kept on slapping me on the knees in a friendly way. He had a crutch. When I asked him how he hurt his leg, he told me that he fell asleep driving and went off the road. He tried to console me adding that he was alone at that time and no passengers were hurt. He will soon go to Paris for special treatment thanks to his generous King who took care of that for him. He explained that when a Saudi Dr prescribes you a treatment not available in Saudi Arabia, you write a personal letter to the appropriate Prince with details of special treatment you need, and the Prince arranges everything for you.
He was very proud of his country and its capital Ryhad and offered to drive an indirect route to the hotel passing the 2 new skyscrapers that are the landmarks of the city. He was very proud of his beautiful white robe and he invited me to feel the fine texture, which made me feel envious to wear something like that. He told me everything about his dress explaining the 2 patterns of head covers used. A pure white for the nobility, and a red and white checkered pattern used by the rest. His dress fascinated me and so did the modern Arabic architecture all over. The traffic was starting to get busy and he was staring to show me his underwear and I started to feel a bit suspicious and tried to concentrate on just the buildings outside.
His slapping on my knees gently turned to longer and longer pats of friendship. When it developed into an upward moving massage, I got the message. I realized that those were the same moves that I made so many times so many years ago with all my lady hope-to-haves. I felt like one of the many girls I tried to pick up that way. So, like the many ladies did to me, I took his hands off my leg and put it on the steering wheel and after that we had a very nice conversation as we were stuck in the traffic jam going thru the center of Riyadh to my hotel. I called Jens, my contact person in Ericsson and he assured me that everything was working and ready for the course. The next day was a free day and as I was walking around, I was fascinated by how clean that Saudis were, and how elegantly they dressed. I suddenly felt ashamed of my old pair of worn out shoes that I should have thrown away long before, so I bought myself a good pair of elegant sandals like all the locals wear. I would have as well liked to have bought and worn the robes that looked so comfortable.
I went to an amusement park in one of the many malls, and it made me so happy to see once again how children are the same in all cultures, religions, and countries. And the adults so very different. It was very crowded, and about a 3rd of all women were totally covered looking like black ghosts. A third was able to show their beautiful big black eyes often with makeup. The remaining third showed their face displaying the attractive features of their race. All the restaurants had curtained off tables just like you see smoking areas in western restaurants so females who could not show their face in public could eat and drink in privacy with their families. All public facilities had a section or a time reserved for “men only”. There were no cinemas and I did not see any theaters. Entertainment outside the home was mainly shopping, bowling, billiards; entertainment parks, restaurants, and picnics out in the surrounding desert which was filled by litter of plastics. I was fascinated at the peace and elegance of it all. It was like being in a monastery.
At the entertainment park I visited, a 3rd of the children were with their fathers, a 3rd with mothers and the remaining 3rd were with both parents. The only manual work deemed suitable for Saudis is driving taxis. The other workers were mostly Arabs from other countries wearing different headdresses. Women including foreigners are prohibited to drive a car and to be outside without a proper body covering. Religious police armed with a stick enforce the restrictions placed on women in public places with a whack on the heels for the mild offenders to one on the legs for more serious offenses. Sex outside marriage, murder, and drug trafficking are punished by public beheading. Theft is punished by cutting off the hand. According to one of the Saudi course participants, music is a sin as it induces sexual temptations; polygamy is for allowing men to relieve their sexual needs within the family. And the reason why women cover their face is because a pretty face is likely to sexually arouse men.
Only a few of the 10 solders, lieutenants and captains were really motivated to learn. The Saudis have a short workday and their day ended usually at 2:30.The soldiers that were just taking the course for their diploma were very inept with their mouse technique, as if it was the first time using it. The time was very short, and most of them wished it were shorter. Many were dosing; some were even sleeping, getting up only for their prayer time.
One of the Saudis told me how they got their Ericsson switches at their army base by picking it out of their disposal sites. The Saudi PTT refused to pay the price Ericsson was charging to make the equipment 2000-year compliant, and they decided to dispose them and get more modern equipment from Siemens. When the course finished, one of the motivated young engineers, Mohammed asked me if I could spend some time with him for some clarifications. As the training facilities were no longer available at Ericsson, I invited him to the hotel, and we spent a few hours reviewing the course. He just graduated, and was still living at home.
Jens, an engineer I was working with was from Holland. He was stationed in Ryhad for the past couple of years. He had 2 toddlers and was living with his family in a gated community they called the campus where foreigners lived. He said it was like a hotel complex where they had facilities like a sauna and swimming pool and exercise hall. He told me how they made beer and wine in the privacy of their houses.
Mohammed invited me to a festival on the outskirts of Riyadh on Friday, their day off. Jens had already invited me to go on a 4 wheel driving in the desert. It was one of his favorite pastimes he had with his family. . Mohammed must have sensed my disappointment in having to refuse his generous offer. After teasing me to change my mind by telling me that it was up to me to decide who to go with, he offered to take me to the festival the next day after his work.
The desert trip with Jens on Friday was very exciting. He took along his family and invited his neighbor and coworker Swedish engineer friend that I had met at the marketing presentation. Both were married to beautiful and gentle Filipino women and had beautiful kids, and both had their 4 wheel drive cars. The desert was filled with garbage left over by the Saudis. There is no one to clean up after them out in the dessert so the garbage is everywhere half buried. The red sand is powder fine with sparse vegetation and footprints of snakes, lizards, birds, bugs and wind. We followed a dried up lake leading to a dried up waterfalls falling in meter high steps. It was filled with fossilized shells and snails. I was able to find some pieces to bring back to Marianne's rock collection as well as for mine. We had a Filipino picnic, and listened to Swedish music. The children speak 2 languages, their mother's and father's. The parents spoke only their own language so they used English as their common language.
The trip with Mohamed to the festival the next day was very enriching. He picked me up with his friend Ali. I felt honored as I entered the Festival grounds with Mohammed and Ali at my side. The festival was a 3-week exposition of all the districts in Saudi Arabia, exposing their different cultures and their products. I was the only one not wearing a robe and head dress. They were very proud of their dances with knives and with chanting and drums. When it was time for prayer, and everyone was in the square, I noticed 3 other white men huddled near the wall. The kids were playing beside us, and I felt the silent peace of prayer, and I prayed. When Mohammed and Ali found me sitting against the wall praying, they thought I had fallen asleep.
We were able to visit most of the pavilions and we tried one of the regional dishes- delicious porridge with honey. It made me think of the time in Weredale House where it was our staple breakfast and dessert. I had a great time talking with Mohamed and Ali, and they answered all of my many questions about their country and their religion. He kept on meeting people in the crowds and speaking with them. They all had the same head dress pattern, but different color of robe, belt and hat, depending on where in Saudi Arabia they came from. They greet each other by going thru a ritual where you ask how the family is individually asking about each of the family members and shower praises on them. When I told him how I was amazed at the number of people he knew and greeted. He told me that he didn't know any of them. He told me that they all stopped him because of me, just to remind him to preach Islam to me. We had such a good conversation that we exchanged our email addresses to keep in touch.
Getting out of Saudi Arabia was harder than getting in. They checked all the cables I was carrying. They were shocked by the rocks I was carrying back, and I thought that I might lose them, but their shock soon turned to just a surprise that anyone would be carrying rocks around. When they saw my flute they asked me to play it to make sure that there was nothing in it I suppose. This was the first time that anyone has asked me to play my flute, and the acoustics were special, but all I gave them were a few notes. I should have played till they told me to stop, but at this point all I wanted was to go home so I went thru a few notes and told them the next time I return I would practice a piece for them.
I had to take a $30 taxi drive to the next terminal passing an empty airport terminal that is just used in the time of Hajj when Muslims worldwide are obliged to give their best effort to go to Mecca. They made me open and start my laptop. I was told that they check laptops for pornography, so I do not know why they were checking it when I was leaving. An elder couple, rolling their eyes at me as if asking for sympathy had to empty their entire suitcase and they checked inside the many vases that were all wrapped up. When I arrived home I was surprised to meet again the very same neighbor at the door who I met when I left 10 days ago. I was very happy to be home.
UMUX coarses
The next day I had to start a week course for a delegation from Oman. As a welcoming, Ascom invited them to a fondue. One of them asked me how it was made and when I told him that it was a mixture of various cheese types melted in wine, he made such a face that it reminded me of a Muslim participant I had who inadvertently got some brandy in his mouth when biting into a brandy filled chocolate. I quickly tried to comfort him by adding that it was possible to make fondue with apple juice instead of wine. I continued that this was made for children or those that are allergic to alcohol. I tried to assure him that Ascom would ensure that the fondue is wine free.
I took them all to Geneva and invited Mathew to join us. On the 2 hour train ride, they kept Mathew busy with questions and Mathew kept them busy with questions of his own. We went up to the UN building that they all wanted to see. It was unfortunately closed but they assured me that all they wanted was to have their pictures taken in front of it. So one by one they stood beside the gate with the UN emblem and had their pictures taken. I found a Lebanese restaurant with a Lebanese waitress that was able to entertain the young Arabs in Arabic. We walked back to the train station and it was their pray time, so they washed their feet and found a private corner in the train station and used their jackets as the prayer mats.
The next week the delegation from Emirate greeted me very warmly as they already knew me. They told me that they had met the previous group from Oman at the hotel just as they were arriving, and that the Omans really enjoyed Geneva, and they too would like to go. It was such a friendly start. We had a great time together. One ate with his fingers, leaving his friend to explain that they eat that way at home. The following Monday, I met the next delegation from Qatar. The first thing the spokesman for the group told me as we were shaking hands was that his group is different from the previous delegations as they were all officers. And they really acted the part. They rented a car and were independent. They did not pray but asked if they can have Friday afternoon free so that they can attend the Mosque. I happily obliged.
Divorce
The long awaited divorce proceedings finally arrived, right in the middle of my 3-week course marathon with the Arabs. The morning started chaotically as Susanne and her lawyer did not show up, and did not phone that they would be late. I thought that they would postpone the entire meeting and was greatly relieved when they finally arrived 30 minutes later thinking they were on time. My lawyer's opening speech criticized Susanne, and Susanne burst out in defense. The judge warning her to quiet down just made her more defensive, and the judge asked her to leave the courtroom for a while. I felt that things were going my way. The judge then interviewed me for 2 and half-hours with an interpreter so I was able to speak English. He asked me all the important things that I wanted him to ask, and I felt that I said everything I wanted to say.
We had a 90 minute lunch break and my lawyer said that he had to go back to his office as he was very busy. Susanne was interviewed in the afternoon. She was very decent to volunteer to speak in German instead of dialect so that I would be able to understand better. She seemed honest and each time she said anything I wanted her to continue with, the judge would cut her short. It was annoying but soon it became so blatantly obvious that he was biased towards Susanne. Whenever Susanne would say something detrimental about me, the judge would repeat it as if to make sure that it was clearly put into the protocol.
To my disbelief, my lawyer right behind me started to doze off, like I see some course participants do in my course. I turned around one time to see him leaning back against the wall stretched out with his feet up on the wooden railing and his eyes closed. I hoped that he was just concentrating or momentary closing his tired eyes. I heard him snore twice and saw his head fall waking him up. I placed some bubble gum on the railing which he used as a foot rest, hoping chewing would keep him awake. Susanne's lawyer looked at my sleeping lawyer and looked at me and gave me a smile that reminded me of Mona Lisa. It was both happy and sad at the same time, happy for him and sad for me.
We went outside and I started to discuss all of the contradictions of Susanne's testimony. One of them was her claim of never ever having advertised for working. I had given my lawyer a copy of Susanne's advertisement offering her services in the antique collection markets, as I helped Susanne make it and made copies of them for her.
The other point that I asked my lawyer to rebuke was Susanne's claim that she cannot work anymore as a secretary as she is outdated not having any computer literacy by bringing up the fact that she has a computer at home. I asked my lawyer to rebuke Susanne's contradiction that she only does the few couple of markets a year without making any money and at the same time she admits to spending a lot of her time looking around garage sales. I had to explain to him that her looking around for stuff to buy must be regarded as working time. It takes a lot more time to buy and gather that to sell, I tried to get my point across. My lawyer claimed that he has determined that Susanne is not home when she claims to be by trying to phone her. Susanne admitted that she spends a lot of time at her neighbor.
My lawyer's sudden activity was positively encouraging me until I heard how silly he sounded when he asked Susanne questions in a fast talking movie type lawyer manner by rattling of a series of drawn out questions. Each question included the detailed date time using full legal names and addresses. It all seemed unnecessarily legalese and a waste of time. Susanne claimed that in earlier years during more lucrative times she made 200 SFr a month on average. But since our separation 7 years ago, the market for nostalgia has plummeted. Susanne defended herself by claiming that her garage sales and second hand stores visits are for her personal purchases.
Hungary
In the summer, Marianne and I went to Hungary. We visited Zoltan, the husband of my cousin Andrea. He was in the hospital. He told us that Hungarian doctors accept and expect tips. And he didn't mean advice. It is not uncommon to give your doctor a few hundred dollars before an operation. A growing amount of doctors offer free medication when the patients sign a waiver form. These are medications that are not allowed in other countries because of health risks of possible detrimental side-effects because they were not yet sufficiently tested. He told me of horror stories of patients breaking down and going crazy from horrible side-effects.
We went east and when we saw the puszta with its harvested hay we were wondering where all the cows were.
Seeing horses for rent made me remember my riding days in Calgary 25 years ago when I rode with Cass doing real cowboy work on her ranch where I experienced moments when I felt one with the horse. I got a sudden urge to get on a horse and gallop off. Marianne not liking horses declined to join me so I rented a horse for an hour. I asked for a fast horse that would gallop and be able to find its way back to the barn.
The man renting the horse insisted on coming along as a guide and we had a great time galloping around the puszta. He was always behind me, and when I asked him to go in front so that I can better see how he rides the horse, he explained that I was on the faster horses who never lets other horses go in front. Whenever he tried to go in front, my horse would either speed up or block the way. So for a while we were racing along the dirt road as my guide tried to get in front. At one point my horse went off the road leaving my guide behind. I was happy to be finally free of my guide until I saw all the holes in the field I was galloping on. I managed to get the horse back on the road, but the guide was upset that I went off the road. When I suggested some more galloping, he refused saying that my horse was already sweating too much.
As my back was starting to feel the stress, I gladly complied not to gallop anymore. We saw a show for tourists displaying the riding skills of the Hungarians. The riders were riding bare back. They were racing around with 2 mugs of beer one in each hand. The one that had lost the least amount of beer won the race. All came back with full mugs.
On our return home I was saddened to see a Hungarian truck carrying rolled hay into Switzerland. We were passing over a rocky pass and I saw cows crowded grazing beside the highway when they would have been more fitting on the Hungarian puszta. Poor Hungarians, selling food to feed Swiss cows and having to buy Swiss cheese. Finding butter was at times difficult. Where butter should have been were dozens of brands of margarine, many promoted as health products while being out phased in other countries because of their detrimental trans-fats.
The following week back at work I couldn't carry my cup of coffee upstairs without spilling some.
My next trip a few months later was to Syria.
Syria
In 2003, I was sent to Syria to discuss a project for providing schools internet access using our communication equipment. There was a McDonalds next to the hotel and I use my allotted amount for expensive meals in the hotel for cheap Happy Meals and pocket the difference. It was a pleasure to see how the children of the privileged locals played just like I remembered my children when they were in McDonalds played. The week was very stressful and nothing was ready and nothing worked. I had to work long hours and was usually too tired to explore too much. I went to a museum that highlighted Damascus as one of the oldest settlements in the world that was still settled. I walked into the old part of Damascus behind the old city walls and got lost in its innards labyrinth. The smell in the air from all the spices and fish and meat laid out in the market was over powering. The color of it all and the sounds of the Arabic and calls to prayer put me in a daze. Entire streets were open markets selling everything to be sold. Expensive looking new clothes to expensive laptops and TVs were being sold like we would sell second hand stuff. There was a place in almost every street in the market for praying. And they were always full. It was strange to walk finally out of the hustle and bustle of the busy market to find a corner here and a corner there with someone setting out his wares to sell.
I spent my last evening walking up to the neighborhoods carved into the mountain side. I was surprised to find instead of a winding road going up the ever steeping slope, it was a straight one. Eventually it got too steep for cars and at the steepest part you have steep stairs until you have the rocky top above the village. Looking down at Damascus at night is a beautiful scene of hundreds if not thousands of blue lights of the minarets dispersed in a sea of the white lights of the street lamps and houses, with only a few red lights from the highest towers.
The flight back home was magical. For luck I had a window seat with a good view. The landscape was unforgettably beautiful, like a painting of an orange sea with rolling waves in the form of mountain ranges spaced 30 to 50km apart. Then I got to see the very tip of Cyprus before the clouds and the darkness set in and I found myself taking one of the last trains of the day back home.
Taiwan
My business trip to Taiwan was filled with adventure. I was called into Taiwan for a month to help out complete a microwave network for the national police. I had a 8 hour stay over in Amsterdam. At the red-light district, I was shocked to find windowed kiosk brothels right next to an old cathedral. The entire street and neighborhood was lined by red lit windows displaying naked girls. There was even a lady with a penis. The windows were all the same size and curtained by red curtains. I walked around the place, visited their coffee houses, and before I knew it, it was flying high over Amsterdam to Taiwan.
I was one of the last travelers that were allowed to go thru before they started a 10 day quarantine requirements for all Chinese, and Canadian citizens. The SARS scare had begun. It was claimed that the SARS virus was very contagious and deadly for many. The next morning going to work I saw so many motorcycles during rush hour, I thought for a while that there was some kind of race or rally. The subway in Taiwan is just like the subway system in Montreal, Mexico City and Santiago, and I immediately felt at home. You had to wear a mask to enter the subway. Most people on the street were wearing masks. The people were very friendly and smiled with their eyes, mostly behind eyeglasses. Everyone seemed to be wearing eye glasses, and when I asked about it, I found out that 95% need glasses and many wore contact lenses. There were no fat people or bald ones to be seen.
My work place was about 20 minutes subway ride from my hotel. The first few days were full of stress as I was in a very uncomfortable position at work, crowded between monitors and having an air conditioner blowing right down at me. It was hot inside and cold outside and I was developing muscle cramps until I requested the air be redirected, and a proper chair be found. It was very stressful to be always feeling on the point of coming down with a fever just at the time when they were quarantining hospitals for not containing the spread of SARS. More than half the newspapers were devoted to SARS stories. Things got gradually worst, with a department store having to close down along with a residential block with all people in them quarantined. They started to take temperatures wherever possible, and made the use of a mask obligatory wherever they could not take the temperature. The first thing I did when I went back to my hotel was take of my shoes and socks, empty my pockets and get under the shower with all my clothes to rinse them off. I had the “do not disturb” sign on all the time and made my own bed.
We all worked hard and late. The penalty for not meeting the deadline was 50,000 SFr per day, so the project manager was noticeably shaky, but the others including me just did our best and had a good time doing it. My first weekend I spent walking around the many parks that dot the city. I got a smart “easy pay” subway ticket that not only made it 20% cheaper, but more convenient as you did not have to take the card out from your wallet. The strong magnetic waves read and reprogrammed the card automatically as you walked thru the gates. Filling the card with cash was easy as well. The subway was finished 9 years ago and it is very easy to find your way with colors and arrows and signs in English everywhere.
I took the subway out to one of the far out parks and was very impressed by its jungle like surroundings with birds and flowers and streams running down the high rocky hill. On top I discovered a cemetery that resembled scenes from those "lost tomb in the jungle" movies.
We always had our lunch at the same place, and I got to know the lady owner cashier who always served me with special treatment. She asked me to give her a western name, so I gave her Nina after my dear mother. Unfortunately Nina could not speak any English. I invited her and her girlfriend Alice who could speak English quite well and we went to a very classy restaurant. Nina was so nice that she told me she felt guilty ordering such an expensive meal, When it was time for me to pay the bill I found out to my shock that my credit card has been blocked. Fortunately, my mobile was charged, and the credit card help number was reachable and helpful. They explained that when they saw that my card was used to buy a ticket to Canada and was being used in Taipei, they tried to reach me but my phone line was no longer available as I canceled it a few months ago. For those suspicious reasons, they decided to block my card. When I explained it all, they agreed to unblock it immediately.
To add salt to wound, my debit card that I used to get cash stopped working. It took me a few days to find out that it has been damaged by the subways “easy pay” system as I had the two smart cards side by side in my wallet. There were shops all over offering the latest electronic gadgets at a fraction of the prices in Switzerland. The shopping spree was making me feel really good.
My 2nd weekend was devoted to shopping. Certain things were so cheap that I bought many things. I got extra generous with myself as well and ended up with an MP3, digital camera, and just the right things to build my atom models with from a hobby store that Nina recommended. She used the store to buy materials she needed for making figures using thread, glue and Styrofoam balls, exactly what I needed for my atom models.
One exceptionally nice salesman spent an hour with me to show me how I can prevent Window 98 from irrevocably damaging the MP3 player I was buying. When I wanted to give him a dollar tip, he refused. When I told him to use the money to buy his girlfriend something, he refused by telling me he had no girlfriend. It was mother’s day and I was able to finally convince him to take the tip for his mother.
My 3rd weekend was devoted to bringing everything I bought back because they were not working as they should. The SARS situation got worst and worst and they were quarantining apartment blocks, and stores whenever someone in the facilities was found to have SARS. I was hoping something like that would not happen to me especially right near the end of my month stay. On my 2nd to last day of my assignment, I got a phone call from my counterpart from Hong Kong advising me to immediately check into a different hotel. He told me in urgency that a SARS suspect was found in our hotel and that there was a good chance that the hotel guests would be quarantined.
I immediately flagged down a taxi that ended up taking me to the wrong hotel. Fortunately, I saw a land mark that I recognized and was able to guide him to my hotel. There was already a line-up of guests checking out. I told the manager that I was under company orders to immediately check out. I was told to pack up and that my bill will be ready in 5 minutes.
The taxi driver drove me to another fancy hotel but to avoid being traced for quarantine; I told him to drive me to an inconspicuous hotel. The hotel he took me to didn't even look like a hotel. Missing were those annoying pestering bellhops dressed in funny monkey uniforms, elevator operators and even the doorman. But the room I was given was very luxurious. It had a private bath and shower, with CNN, free Internet and free breakfast all for about half the price of what I had to pay at Sheraton. The first thing that struck my eyes were pretty young scantily dressed chambermaids. When I saw the room it was much smaller and nicer with lots of mirrors and 100 free channels on the TV with some of the hardest hard core porno channels that I have seen. Laying on the extra big bed the mirror was nicely positioned. And there was a huge magnifying round mirror positioned for a close up of the middle of the bed, And there were condoms on the table by the bed. I felt like I was escaping from a den of SARS viruses to the AIDS favorite hangout.
I got early confirmation Friday morning that my flight back home has been rescheduled for Saturday at 7pm. So I went back to the station to take a picture of the colleagues that I worked with. Then I did my last minute shopping. On Saturday evening, I wondered how close I managed to get to that SARS suspect who was at my hotel. I went back to the Sheraton and talked with the lady manager with the pretty English name of Felicity. She informed me that the SARS suspect was the USA SARS expert. He recognized immediately his symptoms and isolated himself from the hotel and its cleaning staff.
Then I met Gary, our sales representative in China. I was requested to meet 2 of Gary's potential customers, the coast guard and the Taiwan PTT to discuss some technical issues. After our meeting, Gary invited me out to dinner with his family. I mistook his wife for his daughter. We had a great time eating out in a Japanese restaurant that he often used for his business diners. He drove me to the bus going to the airport which was almost deserted.
I looked forward to the special attention I was expecting to receive from the Swiss controls from passengers from Taiwan. To my surprise and disappointment, the controller flipped thru my passport and waived me thru. For the first time, I was stopped in the "nothing to declare" exit, and my luggage was bulging from all the shopping. The lady asked me where I was coming from, I was happy to confess that I was coming from a month stay in Taiwan with the hopes of showing her my new digital thermometer and sharing with her my personal experience and getting all that welcoming attention. She asked if I was on holiday or business. “Business with the locals” I emphasized. “You can go” was her disappointing reply.
Fortunately, Sunday is a day you are not supposed to do laundry in Switzerland, so the laundry room was free for me to wash all the cloths I wore in Taiwan. I never had cleaner hands or cleaner cloths than I have since SARS.
Austria
I was sent to Austria to help install some of our UMUXs for a customer of Keymile Austria. I remembered them from my previous trip and it was nice to see them again. We ended up in Linz and I ended up doing very similar work to what I had to do in Syria and Taiwan a few months earlier. Everything went just right, with just the right amount of bad luck to keep up the stress and keep it interesting and challenging, sprinkled with good luck just at the right places to make it turn out right in the end. We worked long hours and I ended up having to eat most my dinners past midnight in the bar of my hotel.
One of the normally working days was a holiday, so I got to walk around Linz which I found very beautiful. My hotel was just on the outskirts on the Danube, and there was a very impressive exposition of 1000 families from all over the world. The family portraits each the size of a huge poster were exceptionally well made capturing in detail the wonderful smiles and pride that I saw in all of them. And each one had a few lines of text to go with the portrait just as descriptive and deep as the photographs themselves. There were families from the poorest to the richest and from the most modern to the least remote from all cultures and religions.
Marianne came to Vienna for the weekend so I had a nice Saturday evening and entire Sunday with her. We walked around the gardens at the Emperor's palace and ended up marveling at the works of the famous architect, Hundertwasser.
We both were very impressed by how he showed that nature could be integrated into our homes. One good luck that happened just at the right time was Monday afternoon when I was able to finish work early enough to take the 2 hours journey back to Vienna and be with Marianne on her last evening in Vienna. We had a late dinner in the same Chinese restaurant that we found the day before and had a repeat of the same meal with the egg rolls that were the most delicious I have ever tasted. As Christopher was having his final cooking practical exam, I flew back home. He had to prepare a 5 course meal for many people. Christopher could have invited people but he chose not to. He thought it would just make him more nervous than he already was. I told him just to do his best, and so that he wouldn't be too nervous, I advised him just to cook as if no one was looking. Christopher called me while I was on the train going home to tell me that he had finished the test and was celebrating with his friends. He felt that he did OK.
When I finally arrived home late in the evening, as I was passing by the restaurant where Christopher works, Herr Gfeller who Adam called Feldenstein, Christopher's master cook teacher and owner of the restaurant saw me and invited me to sit down with him and join him with his guests. He was beaming with pride and told me that he attended Christopher's exam and Christopher's meal was excellent and he thought it was the best of the lot. He told me how people that partook of the event congratulated him on behalf of Christopher, his student. He expected that Christopher would get at least a 5 out of a possible 6. He brought me a coffee and told me how pleased he was with Christopher. He invited me to join him for the diploma ceremony in 2 weeks. He was so emotional with pride that he got carried away and started telling me about his new movie business he just opened up. I thought he opened up a cinema, but he corrected me. He has sex movies shown in cabinets.
A few days later Christopher came in with some really bad news. He handed me an envelope with a letter from the school saying that he failed his final cooking exam. He did well on the theory, but failed the practical evening that Feldenstein was so proud of. Instead of the minimal 4, Chris got a failed 3.6. On his theory he got two 4.7s. At the subsequent meeting, the school blamed Gfeller for not teaching Christopher properly.
Canada
In the summer of 2003, Marianne and I went to Canada. Ellie invited us to a musical in Toronto. We drove there and stayed in a fancy hotel. The musical "The Lion King" was magnificent. I was so glad to have the binoculars I bought myself in Taipei to be able to see the details of the beautiful masks that all the painted up performers were dressed up in. From an elephant with each leg a dancer to a giraffe played by a dancer with stilts on all fours. Those with kites represented flying birds. The music was really beautifully done and the stage and lighting was breathtaking. In the scene where they are talking about the stars I have never seen on a stage a dark sky scene made to look so real.
Ellie and Shah invited us to a very funny one woman show of a Ukrainian woman Ivanka who chews the fat highlighting 10 points for a happier life. The actress perhaps realized how much I enjoyed it all and picked me out from the audience to come and join her on stage to write out some points on her white board.
Marianne and I rented a car and drove to Algonquin park. We both had a wonderful time. We started off by seeing an art exhibition in Toronto of the “Group of 7“ a group of 7 Canadian artists who made paintings based on scenes from Algonquin Park.
The beautiful painting of Algonquin Park made us both want to cut short our walk thru Toronto's China town and we immediately drove off to the park. We got off on a luck start getting a camp ground in the park and being able to take in our first hike to a lookout just as the sun was setting. We had a beautiful fire and roasted hot-dogs over it. The next day we hiked a trail along the edge of a long high cliff. The view down to the lakes was magnificent. There were many trails for hiking and the booklets describing each trail were very interesting and informative and greatly added to the enjoyment. We got caught in the rain for a while and had a skinny dip just at the end to freshen up for the next hike. We got on a steady diet of cooking and eating next to the campfire by our tent We normally had baked potatoes, grilled hot dogs on toasted bread with all of the garnishment that we enjoyed with chips and olives and cheese and wine.
We hiked over a bog where floating mats of vegetation slowly smothered the mineral poor waters and allowed them to stagnate into acidic swamps of peat, floating organic matter preserved for millions of years. At the beaver pond trail, we were shocked to hear that the beaver is actually "stupid" and not at all intelligent as he seems to be. The beaver can be easily "fooled" into starting to build a dam just by playing recorded sounds of water falling. The beaver is the only animal, other than man, that changes his environment to suit his needs. To do that he needs to work very hard all summer only to relax in winter feeding on the food hoarded during the past summer, mainly the bark of trees they cut down to make their homes and dams. The beavers live a very close family structured social life, in a nest not unlike that of the Eskimo's igloo. On the Otter trail, we learned that while the beavers work hard all summer to prepare themselves for winter, the Otter spends his summer floating on his back in the beaver pond watching the beaver work. We learned that the maple tree kills off its own "young" by chocking off their sunlight with their shade. The wildest animals we ended up seeing were 2 young teenagers in their bikinis on a huge bolder along the road teasing the truck drivers into blowing their horn by flashing their breasts.
We continued to Killaloe and visited Mr Kranz, the insurance agent in Killaloe. He even remembered my mother 17 years ago asking him why I don't go back to engineering instead of staying with my new born Christopher. And he remembered my sister talking about her 2 boys. Canoeing was on our next agenda and we found a campground where we were able to rent a canoe. At the entrance, they had a "Government keep out" sign posted. The owners were a father son team where the father looked like the hotel man from Alfred Hitchcock’s "Psycho" thriller. He repeated the same thing over and over about the canoe and life jackets as if I disagreed with him or did not understand. They were otherwise very friendly and would "check" the grounds in the evening driving around on their electric golf cart. We had a nice paddle out to the lake where we saw a very colorful sunset. The campers next to us invited us to have some marsh mellows with them.
The next day we planned to paddle across Round Lake which is big and round. I figured it would be a half day journey but we were going against the wind. We paddled up one of the small rivers entering the lake and found ourselves a nice remote spot where we felt like we were in a jungle. We saw logs that looked like crocodiles. We saw a turtle on a log that we could almost touch. We saw families of ducks and swarms of dragon flies. We saw a deer drink and jump away. There was so much wild life that I even got a leach on my foot when I went swimming during our picnic rest.
Paddling back was easier and we had enough time to eat out in a nice Chinese restaurant nearby and go out once more to enjoy the sunset near the lake. Next morning we went for a jog and met the owner of the camp and his dog. The closer I got to Marianne who is uncomfortable with dogs just following her, the more aggressive the dog became. The owner told us that the dog had always reacted to him and his wife the very same jealous way.
Instead of going to Montreal, we decided to finish the rest of the trails in Algonquin Park and to go home earlier so that Adam could have a day with Marianne before she had to fly back home. We visited Jennifer’s book store which was open as always and bought a handful of her interesting books. Then we went inside the Bonchere caves and walked around the outside. We visited Jerzy and found him and his daughter Jagdna just getting in their car to drive away to pick up some plants. They invited us to have a swim at their cottage on a quite remote lake.
We were able to get the last camping place where we wanted to stay for our last night in the park. We did a trail that following an abandoned railway that was at one time the busiest railway in its time in Canada. It had a train every 30 minutes. We saw the visitors center and enjoy the exhibits set up with stuffed animals and talking faces describing the extreme difficult life of the early pioneers in the park. We saw an art gallery featuring local art where we had some fun discussing the "garlic in the sky" oil painting, of postcard size of a white garlic over a blue sky for $1200.
On our way back home we decided to have a rest stop, fill up the tank and buy a cup of coffee. To our surprise we found we could not get anything because nothing worked anymore because there was a massive power outage affecting the entire area. Nobody knew how long it would last. Some people were saying that it could last days to weeks. We had enough gas to get us to a camp ground where we could set up our tent. We were able to fill up with junk food at one of the gas stations that had stores still open. The cell phone network was out of service, as well as the ATMs and card readers. The traffic was directed by volunteers usually old looking men who replaced traffic lights at each main intersection.
We stayed up for the full-moon and had a big slow burning fire to keep us awake. The next morning we decided to have a nice day hiking down to the village nearby and get information on the bus services and the gasoline situation. We tried to trade in our rented car for one with gas at the rental car office in the village but they did not have any cars with gas. At about noon, on our way back to the camp ground, we saw a traffic light start working and that a gas station near-by was pumping gas. By the time we got there, there was only one gas canister left for sale. We bought it and while Marianne waited in the ever lengthening car line up to fill up, I ran to get the car which was about 5 km away. Luckily I got a ride most of the way and we were able to fill up before the power shut off again or the station ran out of gas. With our tank full we drove back to the camp ground to pack up and have one last swim in the beautiful clear lake. We were able to drive to Ellie's house which had the power already restored. Early next morning Adam joined us in our drive to the airport to drop Marianne off.
Lost job
My holidays ended and my worst fears turned to reality. 30% of the staff got laid off. And I was one of them. I lost my dream job and I was devastated. I was given a 3 month notice that was extended for an additional 2 months due to my seniority. The company set up a program code named FUTURA to help us find new jobs in a market filled with rising layoffs especially in the telecommunication industry. The situation looked gloomy with the prospects of the company eventually closing down in a few years.
FUTURA helped us write our resumes and I was very happy for that as the last resume I wrote was 17 years ago to get the job I just lost. I remembered how 17 years ago I was paid up to 200 CHF daily expenses to go to an interview. And I got most of the jobs I was interviewed for despite my lack of speaking German. The situation now reversed with more than 200 applicants for the same few jobs available.
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